Stand firm against mother’s risky wedding plan

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This article was published 13/05/2021 (1974 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is annoyed her third fancy wedding might not be able to come off. She’s already had two big weddings. The first was to my father, with me in the womb. The second was to my stepfather, who was much nicer to me than my birth father. Sadly, he died a few years ago.

My mother has always been able to re-invent her love life, and has had a series of boyfriends since then. Good ol’ Mom found herself a third marriage prospect, just before COVID. They’re crazy about each other and want to marry. But, big problem for her, they couldn’t have “a proper wedding” with the fancy dress, reception and dance — the works! She has always been a wannabe movie star, and she want to be the centre of attention at her own weddings, of course.

The new guy — who has a stronger backbone than her other husbands, recently told Mom she either marries him by July in a tiny COVID-safe wedding, or there’s no marriage. My big problem is she’s secretly asking for the wedding to happen in my backyard — “because it’s bigger.” I could throttle her! She’s my mother, and I love her, but she’s up for doing something that could be unsafe and lose her this nice guy too. Should I refuse?

— Upset Oldest Son, River Heights

Dear Upset: Take a deep breath and say, “Absolutely not!” to Mom’s scheme. Tell her it goes against the “tiny-wedding agreement” with her fiancé — a man you like and respect — and a bigger wedding could still be unsafe due to COVID.

Just don’t be surprised if you aren’t the only person on her list of people who might be persuaded to host the wedding in their yard. Warn her against trying to game this stand-up guy, as he might take one look at a crowd waiting in the yard, and leave her at the altar.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m crazy about a guy with a slow and sexy smile. It just grows as he appreciates more and more what you’re saying to him. His eyes are a deep blue-green like the ocean. Sometimes, he just winks instead of saying yes. He’s gorgeous and has all the moves. Not surprisingly, he’s a big hit where we work.

There’s one problem. We just can’t figure out what team he’s batting for. I mean, he’s almost pretty. Somebody with more nerve asked his immediate boss out in the warehouse, if he’s single, and he said, “He has a partner and they’re married.”

The word “partner” could indicate anything these days. I have the most to do with him work-wise, and I think he likes me. What now?

— Bewitched, But Bewildered, Winnipeg

Dear Bewildered: He could be married, living with someone or just seriously dating, and may be straight, gay or bisexual. So what? His department boss is ultimately letting you know the man is “taken” — so cool off!

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy his slow and sexy smiles. He certainly has enough to go round. But do nothing else. Just be pleasant and enjoy the foolishness. Maybe this flirty guy likes everybody. Some people are just natural flirts and very talented — and every new person is an opportunity to practise. They don’t mean any harm. So, enjoy the interplay and get back to work.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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