Best to take a trial run bunking with wild granny

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/05/2021 (1923 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My grandmother is a happy, medium-level alcoholic who claims “the drink” has preserved her. She’s just cruising through her 70s, walking two miles a day with her headphones on. We can’t see her until we get vaccinated, so we “grands” in our late 20s and early 30s play games with her online, and call her on the phone.

The big thing she does that makes my parents mad is tell wild stories of her youth. Gran doesn’t seem to know what to leave out when it comes to “sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll” or maybe she just likes shocking people.

In reaction to all that “out there” behaviour, her kids (my parents, aunts and uncles) are all pretty conservative. Stories of free love and recreational drugs don’t cross their lips, unlike Gran’s loose lips!

Now my mother is furious again, because Grandma just told me about the two different guys she lived with, and their little commune in the country.

About a year later, Gran caught sight of Grandpa (who “looked like Tarzan in a loincloth”) and that was it. They got together and she got pregnant with my mom.

It’s a great story, and it was hilarious seeing Mom’s shocked reaction when I told her I knew all about it.

The next morning Mom got nasty and told me to stop talking to Gran as “the old lady’s losing it” and most of her stories are lies. Mom also phoned up Gran and told her to keep her mouth shut, and made her cry.

I talked this over with Gran, who is hopping mad. She has asked me to move in — only $150 a month rent, but I have to do the shopping and dinner-cooking. No sweat! I love to cook.

Should I? I’m single and lonely, renting a little suite in a house. I have a secure job. Gran is vaccinated and I have an appointment for my first one. Mom will be furious for sure!

— Love My Gran, Wolseley

Dear Love My Gran: You’re old enough to run your own life and make your own choices, but don’t make any rash decisions just to get your mother upset. Hang onto your suite and go for a one-week trial visit at Gran’s when you’re vaccinated. Living with Gran could be an interesting experience, but your only problem might be her drinking. How bad is it, especially as the day wears on?

Assess what Gran needs and how she behaves. Also consider what will this do to your own freedom to date someone and perhaps bring them home.

Set a spring and summer limit on staying with Gran at the outset so there’s no bad feelings if you decide to leave in the fall.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m really a man with a lonely heart. I didn’t care much for female company when I was married and spent all my time with our boys, sports, golf and the horses.

My wife ran the house and kids, and nagged me because I was never home to help. Then the last kid moved out and so did my wife. By that time, we hardly knew each other.

So now here I am alone in the house of memories and I’m the last one standing. My wife quickly moved in with another guy — the timing was very suspicious — then the two boys left the province together to work.

I hear from them every couple of Sundays. I don’t know what to do with myself except go to work and wait for the pandemic to be over to look for a new woman. I just go for rides in my truck in the evening to keep myself sane.

I’d like to do something more useful and meet some nice people. Can you help?

— Lonely-hearted Man, Just Outside Winnipeg

Dear Lonely: It’s a difficult and dangerous time to go out looking for a new woman, but you need to fill your time outside of work. How about postponing the lady search for a few months and instead pitch in and help with pandemic problems now? There are many charities needing help and you have a truck — a great asset. You’ll meet a lot of good-hearted people.

As a start, contact Harvest Manitoba for volunteer Information (harvestmanitoba.ca). Volunteer jobs include intake, sorting, packing, organizing, cleaning and driving. The organization states it is “COVID-19 safety-compliant, PPE is provided, and physical distancing is respected. Training is provided and shifts are flexible.” The location is central at 1085 Winnipeg Ave.

To apply for a volunteer position, you’ll have to fill out a volunteer application online. Note where it says: “If you have a special skill you would like to highlight and share with us, please include this on your application.” That’s where you could mention your truck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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