Find better venue for over-eager musician

Opinion

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This article was published 25/09/2021 (1442 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I recently started dating a guy who’s a great lover — let me say that for starters. But, there’s a problem. He’s obsessed with playing guitar and showing off for people, and it’s getting nauseating.

He’s not the best at playing, by a long shot. Every time I come over to his place, he plays for me way too soon, and for far too long!

He just can’t wait to perform his new songs, and he writes a couple a day. He’s great at the lyrics. Singing and playing? Not so much.

Myself, I like to cook for people, but the spotlight’s never on me. Whenever I have close friends at my place, he brings his guitar out and wants to be the pre- and post-dinner entertainment.

I didn’t care all that much about his guitar obsession at first, because I thought he knew he wasn’t that great and was just taking a whack at it.

It turns out I’m wrong, and he thinks he’s amazing.

It’s embarrassing to have him “entertain” my friends, acting as if I’ve asked him to do it and that he, the up-and- coming star, is doing everyone a big favour. How can I get him to chill out, on his guitar act?

— Frustrated New Girlfriend, Osborne Village

Dear Girlfriend: Your new guy is a born entertainer, whether he sounds good to other people or not.

Sadly for him, it’s still a COVID world as we watch out for the fourth wave, and solid gigs are hard to get.

Since dinner parties with a few trusted friends are pretty much all that’s happening, he’s just itching to play at them. Make him aware old bands and new are starting to practise for gigs that are slowly starting to happen again.

He’d probably be happier with an actual band and alternate music venues to your living room.

Is he the type to start a band of his own or more likely to join a group already formed? Encourage one or the other, rather than pouring ice water all over his music and his hot desire for you.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is going to sound awful, but after having kids, I have a hard time finding my wife’s naked body attractive. We used to be a very attractive couple, and were just nuts about each other.

After our second child, she’s put on a lot of weight on, and now some people don’t even recognize her anymore when we’re out. She looks just like her overweight mother.

I always told myself I’d never feel this way, because she gave us two wonderful children, but here I am worried and turned off by my wife.

She asks me why I don’t want to be intimate anymore and she must suspect the answer, but I can’t tell her, because it’d be too hurtful.

The thing is, I just don’t enjoy sex with her anymore. It’s like being with someone else I don’t recognize, like maybe her (God forgive me) great big mama.

What is wrong with me? What can I do to get her to lose?

— Guilty Jerk and Hating It, central Winnipeg

Dear Guilty: Talking about your partner’s weight and pushing her to lose some is a relationship minefield.

What you can do instead is up the exercise quotient for both of you, without saying a word.

Get bicycles, and possibly gym memberships for both of you — not just her. If you two like animals, a younger dog who loves walking and running would ensure daily exercise for his owners. This could be good for both of you.

You can totally avoid that horrible talk where you might lose your cool and tell your wife you don’t even recognize her anymore. That could inspire the D-word and you don’t want a divorce with sweet little kids a part of that heartbreaking picture.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I sit beside someone at work who is a giggler, and has endless naughty jokes she likes to share with me. Our supervisor told us last week we “are not paid to laugh!” I sense we are on the way out if we don’t shape up.

My jokester friend doesn’t care like I do. She has a well-to-do husband and only works for fun.

Not me. I’m a single mom and have a serious need for this money to pay for my rent, bills and food. So, I took a deep breath and went over and asked the supervisor to seat me far away from my friend.

Now my pal is so upset she’s not talking to me, even on breaks. How can I fix this awful situation?

— Hurt My Friend and Myself, Downtown

Dear Hurt: Apologize about asking to be separated. Tell your friend you just find her so funny you can’t stop laughing and then getting in trouble.

Also tell her seriously that you and your kids need the money from your job to keep everybody fed and a roof over their heads. Ask if you can get together outside of work — over at your place — where you’re free to laugh and enjoy yourselves all you want!

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.