Be upfront about dating dad’s employee

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This article was published 18/01/2022 (1656 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My father has a cute young guy working for him, and he brought him home for dinner. They had to go back to work again after supper, because of a surprise deadline at the business.

I kept staring at the guy over dinner and he’d catch me. Finally, he winked, and I smiled at him. As he was walking behind my dad to leave, I gave him the “call me” hand signal and handed him a tiny piece of paper, with my number. We’ve been secretly talking for two weeks.

At first it was fun having this secret new “boyfriend,” but now it’s becoming difficult. I’ve never done something like this behind my dad’s back before, and I’m feeling guilty. My dad is a nice, kind man.

Things are developing. This guy wants to see me, and not just talk on the phone. I feel the same way, but don’t want to take chance on this amazing guy losing his job. He’s 19. His family really needs his money to help out. I’m 18. What should I do?

— Guilty Daughter, Winnipeg

Dear Guilty: Your dad may have already guessed there’s something going on between you two — parents are not as dumb as their kids think. You might as well tell your dad — Mr. Nice Guy — what’s going on, so at least you aren’t sneaking around anymore.

By the way, your dad likely knows this young fellow’s situation at home, and wouldn’t be eager to fire him for seeing you. But let’s be clear: Everybody needs to be upfront and respectful to keep things going smoothly if you want to start seeing one of your dad’s employees. Are you really ready for this?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The new lady friend I met before Christmas brings her big dog on dates. Unfortunately, he’s not old and sleepy.

She works all day, and if she leaves him alone again after supper he gets so upset he howls and the neighbours can hear him from inside their houses. I think he’s more in love with her than I am.

When we come home (with him) to her place, the trouble starts in the driveway. He starts whining if I kiss her in the car before we get out. And, when the three of us get to her door, he dances around and barks and tries his hardest to block me from coming in. Not that it works!

Worse still, when we’re in the bedroom, and she makes any noise, he’ll start launching himself at the door! He acts like I’m attacking her, and I end up going home early.

I really like this woman, but I’m not “in love” with her, like her dog is.

Ordinarily, I’d just say goodbye in a situation like this, but it’s really hard to meet women during COVID. I’m actually afraid of having no one again. I almost went crazy with loneliness last year. What do you suggest?

— Losing to the Dog, North Kildonan

Dear Losing: Your new lady needs a partner who also has a dog. Then the four of them can double-date! Seriously, this new relationship is begging to be dialled down to a casual friendship. Since you two don’t seem destined for true love, she may be relieved if you suggest it.

To make yourself feel less desperate, purposely spend more time with other friends and family, so you don’t get so lonely during the fourth wave.

After this experience, you need a girlfriend with tropical fish!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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