Don’t sleep on it; seek help for snoring

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This article was published 08/02/2022 (1636 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I enjoy making love with my wife, but I’m sick and tired of being constantly harassed for snoring. My dad snored, and my mother said she slept right through it. I tried using tapes and other different sleep aids I’ve found, but I still snore.

I’ve been married six years, and now I want my own private bedroom where I can shut the door and sleep in peace again. My wife is forever waking me up, yelling, “You’re snoring!”

My wife is hurt that I want to “abandon her” in the master bedroom. I don’t really; I just want to get some guilt-free sleep.

I don’t want to sleep in a recliner chair she bought me — been there, done that — and she refuses to wear earplugs! Something’s got to give here, and I’m sick and tired of being the guilty party.

— Fed-up Snorer, North Kildonan

Dear Snorer: You can’t escape this problem by extricating yourself from the master bedroom. Your snoring may sound like a small freight train to her, even at that distance with the door shut.

For your own health and safety you need to talk to your physician and get a referral to a specialist who will book you in for a sleep study. You may need a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine, with a lightweight mask. Why? Obstructions in your airway cause periods of apnea or pauses in breathing while you sleep, and this can be dangerous for you.

It’s also bad for your general well-being to snore like this every night, as you don’t get enough good quality rest. That’ll make you cranky — not the Prince Charming you once were. You will enjoy the deeper sleep and benefit by it, throughout the whole day.

Want to resuscitate your romance while you’re at it? Couples who live with this problem can source dual-adjustable beds to help keep them together and comfortable for cuddles and other activities that arise in the night.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My parents are old-school, and they really want me to marry within our faith. That part doesn’t bother me so much, but they recently made it clear they want me to date someone who regularly practises our faith.

I feel increasing pressure from them at my age — late 20s. My being single with a profession isn’t enough and I hear that from my mom every single evening. That’s too much family in my face. She claims she calls because she’s worried about me. She thinks I’m at loose ends — or “loser ends” as she calls it.

I don’t even know if I’ll get married, having watched my parents fight and natter at each other all the time. I like the peaceful way my life is.

My question is how to deal with old-school parents? My folks are very religious people — which I respect — but I don’t think my idea of my future lines up with theirs.

— Trying to Live My Own Life, Winnipeg

Dear Trying: Start planning what you want for your future, and a way to get there, and your parents may back off, feeling relieved. At almost 30, you don’t speak of a plan, which makes them think you’re lost in the woods. That gives them an opening to tell you the old roads they know you could take.

Because you’re making good money, you can afford to make some ambitious plans now and show them (and yourself) that you know what you’re doing, and you’re certainly not at “loser” ends.

As for attracting women, there’s nothing like “a man with a plan” to attract a similar kind of woman. Just make sure she doesn’t come from a family who thinks “nattering” is a normal part of marital communication.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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