Gassy guffaws are stinking up the romance

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/05/2022 (1546 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When my boyfriend and I started dating, I thought it was quaint (and a bit funny) that he liked to tell juvenile fart jokes. Those days are long gone.

Now, the less I enjoy a joke, the funnier he thinks it is. I’m so fed up! I try to talk to him about it seriously, and that just sets him off into fits of laughter. I don’t know how to get through to him.

He’s wonderful otherwise — everything a woman could ask for. My friends don’t empathize because they say it’s such a small drawback that I should consider myself lucky. I just can’t focus on anything else when he’s enjoying annoying me.

If I could make peace with it, I would have by now. How do I get him to see it from my perspective?

— Losing Interest in Him, East Kildonan

Dear Losing Interest: His sense of humour stalled out in junior high. He’s treating you like a teacher or an easily shocked mother. By the time you put your foot down, it may be too late to save the relationship, which has had a lot of good in it.

Tell him ASAP you’ve had enough of his immature antics and him using you as the adult to upset. Tell him it’s not fun for you, it’s certainly not sexy, and that your feelings for him are starting to cool.

If he cares for you, he’ll stop. If he’s having too much fun at your expense to stop, then he isn’t a good match for you or any other woman his age.

Some couples have different senses of humour from one another and survive, but it certainly doesn’t help the feeling of closeness if it ends up in a “just-living-together” arrangement, which can be hard enough. Check out the following letter…

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A TV show my wife loves (and I hate) from the ’90s just got rebooted. We used to fight about it, because I thought it was not funny at all and she loved it. We didn’t have a VCR. Well, now the problem is back because a streaming service has revived the show.

I don’t even want it in our house! I find the humour obnoxious and it bugs me how funny my wife thinks it is. If they revive Seinfeld too, I think it might be the end of us.

Seriously, what can we do about this? We only have one TV and ever since COVID hit, we don’t do much after work except binge-watch TV and sometimes drink wine.

I don’t want to have to find something else to do while she watches this drivel.

— Drivel Revival Woes, Elmwood

Dear Revival Woes: Clearly you can’t demand your wife not watch the show — or you’d have tried that. That leaves you with getting headphones for her, or earplugs for you while you do something else. You could go out to see friends, but you shouldn’t have to bail out of your own house over this difference.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sister and I are two years apart. I’m 16 and she’s 14. Many people think we’re twins. While she thinks this is fun, I do not. We do everything together — not my idea. We go to the same big school and she tries to tag along with me and my friends who are in Grade 11. She’s recently started to dress the same way as me.

When she went and copied my new haircut the other week, I freakin’ lost it! I’m to the point I’d almost like to change schools.

I asked her last week to stop copying me, and I could see in her eyes she was hurt. Still, this has to stop!

My mom says copying is the sincerest form of flattery. I don’t care. I want my own identity and she can have hers. My mom says I’m being ridiculous. Am I? I told my mom I was writing to you. Help, please!

— Had it with Copycat Sister, Garden City

Dear Had It: You’re not being ridiculous, but your mom wants you to know your sister’s copying comes out of adoration for you. It’s also from the lack of confidence a girl often feels at 14.

Ask Mom to go for a private car ride with you. Explain everything to her, especially about the recent hairstyle copying, which has really set you off. Then there’s the annoying tagging along with your friends, who won’t want a younger kid on the scene and may not want you around if it’s always a two-for-one deal.

Then let your mom handle this. Be prepared for your sister to be hurt, but at least it will be minimized if it’s done with a mother’s loving explanation, rather than a sister losing her cool.

Please send questions, comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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