Stuffed-toy affinity no impediment to maturity

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This article was published 27/05/2022 (1589 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boy is turning 13 and still sleeps with one arm around his favourite stuffed animal. It’s an old grey rabbit with ragged ears. I’ve been trying to get him to stop, as I think he’s old enough to move on from that sort of childish stuff. He just calls me a “boomer” (even though I’m only 35). I guess I’m ancient to him.

He’s a confident young guy, and completely dismissive of my concerns about his developing into a man, and shedding childhood comforts. His mom just thinks I’m a worrywart.

How do I get through to him that he’s too old for a stuffed animal? It’s embarrassing to me that my son still does this.

— Macho Dad, Royalwood

Dear Macho Dad: Your son is confident at 13? That’s what many parents can only dream of. Their kids’ bodies are changing and voices are cracking — and they often feel awkward and unsure of themselves.

Your boy can even take some shaming from his father and offer some pushback! You have the makings of a young adult there. So who’s going to make fun of him over this rabbit, but his antiquated dad?

Now, get this. Any girl who gets into your son’s bedroom will probably think it’s adorable he still has his old “stuffy” around. She probably does, too!

So, give the boy a break and stop fretting. The rabbit got him this far, and he’s going to be a fine young man in the future.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a much older man and we saw each other secretly for years. Unfortunately, he died and my heart has been broken for months.

I don’t want a new man who’s my own age, although my two best friends are pushing that agenda. I don’t know why, since they’re both unhappily married to suitably-aged men.

I was deeply devoted to my older man, and he was to me. His wife had little interest in him, and actually preferred women (although her children never knew that). Oh, she was suspicious about her husband and me, but she couldn’t have cared less.

My close girlfriends have come up with a man they want me to meet. He’s 52, so he’s age appropriate in their little minds. He has “agreed to meet me.”

I don’t want to meet him! Can I get out of this? Please help me.

— Mourning My True Love, Wolseley

Dear Mourning: Inform your meddling buddies you’ll be steering your own boat from now on. You don’t owe them anything, and you certainly don’t need to go on this forced date.

They can tell this guy you’re still in mourning, and just not interested in meeting anyone. If there are any apologies to be made, those schemers have to make them, not you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Everything is getting more expensive. I was already broke before inflation went crazy, and now I can barely afford to live.

I have no education past Grade 12, and nobody to support me to go back to study. I don’t even know what I’d take if I did.

I used to be fine with being a broke retail worker but now it feels I’m straight-up impoverished. I already pinch every penny. What can I do?

— Burned Out, West End

Dear Burned Out: One thing that’s working in your favour is the number of businesses in the food and entertainment industry who desperately need employees again as they’re re-opening.

Aside from your day job, consider getting an evening job at a restaurant, where they feed staff for cheap or for nothing. Be sure to look for a place where people your age are working, so there’s a social life after hours.

This is how a lot of people in their late teens and 20s get through college — working evenings and weekend hours, while meeting new friends and having some fun. You sound like you need some fun almost as much as you need the extra money. Good luck to you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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