Decoratively censor partner’s semi-public nudism

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This article was published 26/05/2022 (1591 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My partner and I recently moved in together, and so far everything is amazing. We’re renting the cutest little house in a nice, quiet neighbourhood. Problem is, he’s a lot more liberal than I am with respect to clothing. He’s always naked when nobody is around. At first, I thought it was hot, but it started to grow old, and then it became inconvenient when people came to the door.

I always have to answer, since he’s not decent, and we have this huge panoramic front window that always has to have the curtains closed. It’s hard enough being the only same-sex couple on the block. I don’t want to start reinforcing negative stereotypes, or even worse, upsetting somebody who just happened to be walking by.

But I need sunlight! Natural lighting brings me to life in a way light bulbs don’t — and losing so much beautiful natural light is frustrating.

He says, “Let people look if they want!” While he’s very easy on the eyes, it still doesn’t seem right or decent to me. Is there room for compromise or does one of us (me, probably) need to give up completely?

— Thoughtful New Neighbour, North Winnipeg

Dear Thoughtful: Basically, you’re living with a happy nudist or “naturist” who needs a little managing. So, here’s a hot tip: some naturists hang café-style curtains in these situations. That’s opaque curtains running across the bottom half of the windows to be drawn when your partner is home, and lace ones to pull across the top half. Just make sure the bottom curtains are hung chest high! Also use café curtains in smaller windows and more on the exterior doors, as people tend to peek in when they don’t get an answer to the first knock or ring.

You’d be wise to take care of the buying and organizing of the new curtains. They’re of no interest to your partner, so hang them with the help of a handy friend. Yes, that’s a little sneaky, but you have already had talks about this, and your partner isn’t listening. Plus, you don’t want to break up, and this will mean you can stay in peace.

And this just in! You can also buy the newer accordion-style blinds that can be pulled from above or below, and positioned where you want them — and still have the sun shining in while providing some privacy. Not as fancy, but quite practical!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My guy has lost almost 50 pounds. He’s been working out like crazy and getting into great shape. He’s also been posting pictures of his new body online, and I can’t help but feel jealous. I’m still overweight, and to be honest, I’m getting worried he’s going to end up leaving me.

We were both overweight when we met, and have been chubby for years. It was comfortable, and we made little jokes about it together. Now, I can’t see why he stays with me when he can get someone better any time.

This had me in tears the other night. He sat me down and told me he loves me, and finds me attractive. Trouble is, I just don’t buy that he’d want a bigger girl, when he could get a beautiful, fit one now. I just don’t think he realizes it yet.

Further to that, I can’t bring myself to compliment his improved fitness — even though he does look good — because I don’t want it to go to his head. I already see his friends praising him. I’m so afraid his eyes will start wandering!

I don’t want to starve myself and I don’t have the time, energy or desire to exercise, so don’t tell me to “just get fit, too.” Frankly, I got with him because I wanted someone who was also overweight to be with forever. Now, I just know I’m going to lose him, and I’m almost making it happen, to get it over with. Please help!

— In Dangerous Waters, Westwood

Dear Dangerous: Don’t throw your love away! He’s not asking for that, and you don’t want it, either. Loving someone is about a lot more than attaining perfect, matching bodies. Would you really feel better if you dumped him, and he was so hurt and depressed, he ate himself back to being heavier again?

It’s time to get some counselling before you push away someone you love dearly, with a negative, untrusting attitude. And, consider this: you think you don’t feel much like exercising, but the spring weather has finally arrived. You could go for beautiful walks together in the evenings and on weekends. That’s a pleasant way to drop weight slowly and tighten up some muscles, as long as you don’t go for too much ice cream at the end.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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