‘Love’ stays on court with doubles partner

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/06/2022 (1519 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: After a big doubles win, I playfully swatted my male tennis partner across the butt with my racquet, and it was a big mistake. I’m a fairly attractive woman. Now he’s following me around, like a lovesick hound.

His “crush” is becoming visible to other people. One of my female friends teased me about it yesterday in the change room.

This guy and I are both successfully married to other people and have families. How do I cool him off without losing the friendship and our excellent sports partnership?

— Unwelcome Court Crush, south Winnipeg

Dear Court Crush: You might need to cool him down when he starts flirting again. Say nicely: “I think you’re a great guy, but I’m married. I got silly the other day with my racquet — but I didn’t mean anything by it. I hope we’re still friends.”

Then, change the topic, and hope your message gets through to him in a nice way, so he can get over his unfortunate crush.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Love is a miracle I’ve never experienced. I’m embarrassed to say I’ve been married twice, so that’s bad, isn’t it?

I long to know what real deep love feels like!

The first time I married I thought I was really “in love,” until our big fancy wedding was over, and we settled into being a married a couple… big yawn!

He sensed my boredom, and suggested we start a family. He confessed he badly wanted a son — not a daughter. “Girls are little pukes and too much trouble,” he said. He said he didn’t like little girls until they grew up.

What a turn-off that was! I secretly got on birth control, until he found out. Things went further downhill then, because he was a yeller. I feared violence from him after a while. I got my sisters to help me move out one night when he was away. We got divorced.

Husband No. 2 seemed better — a really nice guy. He ticked everything on my “dream man” list. However, he turned out to be bisexual. He married me because he was looking for acceptance with his straight work friends.

I heard some bad rumours and finally caught him with his male best friend, who was also married and “on the down-low.”

So, I’m just recently divorced for the second time. What should I do now? I admit I know diddly-squat about how to choose a good man and find real love.

— Clueless Double Divorcee, St. Vital

Dear Clueless: To make a real love match, you need to stop hunting for good prospects. Success comes from attracting the right kind of person to you by putting in the effort and being more of your true self. So, it’s time to start getting deeply into activities you love, with similar people, who will enjoy and appreciate you.

For instance, if you’re seriously worried about the climate, you could start getting active on different activist fronts. Or, if you play an instrument or sing, you could hit many concerts and festivals this summer, and maybe get involved in playing in a musical group yourself.

People who’d be attracted to someone like you need to be given a better chance to meet you! With like-minded souls, you can more often find closeness, understanding and, with a little luck, a romance that grows and lasts forever. Give people a chance to admire you, and forget about chasing them down.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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