Cherish memories, don’t fixate on lakeside lover who left

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/07/2022 (1485 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell for a woman at the beach on my two-week holiday. She was staying in a rental all by herself. I thought we were fantastic together and that our new romance would get even hotter back in the city. But she totally disappeared a day before the end of her holiday time. She wouldn’t even take my calls.

I got used, plain and simple. A female friend of mine says she probably has a guy back home and I was a “tasty treat” at the lake. That expression annoys me.

I sincerely fell for this woman. But, she sneaked out — no goodbye scene at all — and hasn’t answered any phone calls, including messages sent through other people. She was using one of those throw-away phones at the lake. I should have suspected something. What can I do now?

— Used and Discarded, Transcona

Dear Used: This snub has the earmarks of a married, engaged or otherwise “taken” woman having a secret fling. It could also be a single woman who likes to escape for little holidays, and have sexy mini-romances.

So what can you do now? Enjoy some of the initial memories of the time you shared, and then bury those dreams and move on. Summer romances can sometimes be tough, if you run into a user, and you are the sincere type.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife’s younger sister wants to come live in our home with her ridiculous weight-lifting boyfriend. I said no, but my wife went ahead and said yes, and they moved in everything to our basement. Granted, it’s a big basement suite and people have rented it before. We are charging them a low rent, but it feels to me they are too close for comfort.

I fortified the locks. The only way to get into our house upstairs now is to knock.

My wife says I’m suspicious and mean-spirited. She wants to start having this young couple up for Sunday family dinners. I said no! She says they have never done us any wrong and I said, “So let’s keep it that way by not getting too close.” What do you think?

— Too Close For My Comfort, St. Boniface

Dear Too Close: Here’s a compromise — take the young couple out for dinner here and there instead of starting a Sunday night dinner ritual. Those family dinner habits can become too much. So, you be the one to start this ball rolling by suggesting you’d like to take them out for dinner. Then name a fun place.

It’s a compromise — dinner about once a month — but not a weekend habit. It could actually be fun for you if you choose unique places, which aren’t necessarily expensive.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last summer, I ran into a former teacher of mine at a beach in Ontario. It seemed like a different world, because we were in a different province — a different setting, outside school. Besides, we are now both 12 years older and find ourselves single-again adults.

We ended up relating on a totally different level than teacher-student, and this was at my instigation. He was reluctant at first, but now we’re seeing each other and it’s a great relationship.

Now comes the hard part — telling people who knew us both in school times that we are a couple. Do we have to explain it to everyone we meet? I am almost 30 and he’s closing in on 40. I had a serious boyfriend in high school and married and divorced him, and everybody I know well is aware of that. I had zero crush on this male teacher in my high school.

There’s nothing wrong going on, but must we address that with people?

— Awkward Situation, Southern MB

Dear Awkward: You can address it in much the same way as you have in your letter — but only with good friends who know you from school days and might be wondering. Be brief and to the point, and get on with other topics pleasantly.

If someone seems to want to beat the subject to death, remind them you were already in love with your husband-to-be in high school and had no interest in anyone else.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography