Cut those who came of age in COVID-era some slack

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/12/2022 (1390 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I feel like the world is going to hell in a hand-basket. I also know this feeling is basically a big cliché, and the generations before us felt the same way. Greed and an addiction to electronic devices seem to lead our 20-something generation by the nose. Almost everyone is just worrying about their own money and doing things for themselves.

I want to see the world get back to a place where people care about their neighbours, and want good things for each other. How can we get things started? We were the generation of love and peace!

— Worried Great-Grandmother, Garden City

Dear Worried: The COVID-induced lonely and restrictive life made people of all ages feel like they were doing a stint in jail. Most people — particularly the young — only had themselves and their devices. They felt socially-deprived for several long years, and now they are coming out of their cocoons, thinking, “What about me? I deserve some fun and freedom to discover things in the world.” All that time cooped up inside made many young people feel less connected, and therefore less charitable.

You sound like you come from the ’60s generation where peace, love and sharing, were some of the biggest values of a free-thinking, rebellious youth culture. They grew to adulthood after the uptight ’50s and alongside the contentious Vietnam war. The war in Ukraine is happening now, but it doesn’t appear to be affecting youth culture here so much yet, as they are struggling to find their own feet again. We need to be patient.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Winter is here and I’m already catching my husband smoking in the house again! This happens every year, and I’ve had it. We have a deal that he smokes outside if it means that much to him — and he does. But when it gets cold and I’m out of the house, he tries to smoke in the basement bathroom with a fan on, or he stands by the back door, holding a lit cigarette. Then he inhales and blows the smoke out the door.

It drives me up the wall and we fight about it until he goes back outside in the spring! I’m tired of feeling disrespected and having to have this conversation every winter. Am I being unreasonable? Why is it so hard for him to do this for me?

— Anti-Smoker with a Smoker, Grant Park

Dear Anti-Smoker: You’re well within your rights to complain to your husband about the back-door smoking, because there’s bound to be some “blowback” into the house. It’s different when he smokes in the basement behind a closed bathroom door. He just keeps doing it despite your continued concern.

The bottom line? He’s a determined, addicted smoker and he’s going to smoke somewhere. Do you really want this husband? If you keep pushing this hard, he may find someone who also smokes — or simply doesn’t mind it — and thinks he’s great.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I understand “Dying For the Sunshine’s” girlfriend’s worry about leaving her beloved cats to go on a three-week holiday together. (You said to go alone, or with pals.) I’d like to suggest it’s possible that pet cameras in the home might give some peace of mind when travelling. They can be placed in several rooms and can be accessed while on holiday, to see what the kitties are up to and see when “cat care” comes and goes. The cameras can be relatively inexpensive — it would probably cost about $300 dollars for four cameras and a small yearly fee (about $50 dollars) to access the video. Hope this helps.

— Camera Careful, Manitoba

Dear Camera Careful: Being aware of the cameras will ensure the cat-sitter is actually on the job, and not mistreating her cats. Still, three weeks is a long time to leave your pets all alone, even if someone drops in to feed them and give them some attention. The animals have no idea where their “people” went, or if they’re coming back. There’s no way for pet owners to sit down and say to the animal who’s watching them pack, “Look, we love you but we’re taking off for 21 days. But hey, don’t worry. Someone will stop in and feed you.”

A better idea is having a cousin, niece or nephew to move in to cat-sit. Then, the pet-loving partner could feel safe enough to be part of a holiday together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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