Don’t kiss marriage goodbye over drunken new-year antics

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This article was published 15/01/2023 (1330 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband and I went to our first New Year’s party since the pandemic started, and it was a disaster! At midnight, my guy went missing, so I went looking for him to collect my New Year’s kiss. I caught him in the freezing-cold back porch, and this red-haired witch was kissing his face off! They were both drunk. Unfortunately for her, so was I!

She’d gone after my husband, so I grabbed her by the hair and pulled it back, until she screamed bloody murder. My husband pried me off her, carried me to the truck and threw me in. The very next day I phoned the woman’s husband at his work, and told him to keep his wife away from my husband, or else! He called me a filthy name, and hung up in my ear.

My husband and I are barely speaking now. I love him so much, and nobody’s going to take him away from me. I’ll fight for what’s mine. But now what should I do?

— Hurting Wife, Downtown

Dear Wife: Everybody in this trio — yourself included — was drunk, and it was midnight on New Year’s Eve. That’s when some people still follow the old custom of kissing a bunch of people. Granted, they don’t usually do it passionately, and in a hiding place.

The question to ask yourself? Do you really think “that witch” forced your husband into the back porch to kiss at midnight? This is the big, strong guy who managed to carry you to your truck right after that. Doubtless, he walked into that porch for the kiss of his own accord!

You need to talk to your man about how much it hurt to see that, and how you won’t be going to any more New Year’s Eve parties with this group. Hopefully he will apologize to you then.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve always been close with my cousin. We were raised like brothers on the same block in the West End — either I was at his house, or he was at mine down the street. But, in recent years we’ve been having a lot of disagreements about his redneck friends and his politics — and my “bleeding-heart liberal” stance. We actually stopped speaking to each other over Donald Trump, of all people, not even a Canadian politician. Either way, I miss my “brother” and want to patch things up. Do you have any advice for how I can mend this relationship?

— Missing the Good Old Days, St. James

Dear Missing: Trying to talk over your political disagreements will only make things worse. Sometimes, for the sake of friendship, you really do need to “agree to disagree.” Perhaps you could re-bond over a sporting interest together, either by watching or participating, or through something else you’re both interested in, like music or gaming.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a 61-year-old woman who’s struggling. I’ve always been confident and self-assured, but when my family gave me a big milestone birthday a year ago, it shook me deep down. I started to doubt myself and my abilities, and I actually sold one of my two businesses, the fool that I am. Now I find myself with not enough to do, second-guessing my decisions and feeling unsure of myself. I know this can be an issue for people as they get older, but I’m not that old.

Got any advice on how I can regain my confidence and move past this crisis? I think I still have a lot to offer, and I have actually made a lot of money in business in the past. My family are all business people, who lived and worked well into their 80s. I just need to find a way to believe in myself again.

— Too Young to Lose it, River Heights

Dear Too Young: You’re “critically bored,” my friend, with not nearly enough work to do! You were raised to be a lifelong achiever, and you’re only half-busy now. That leaves lots of empty half-days to worry. Consider adding something exciting and new — like a new second business you’ve researched well — to fill your days back up. Take that leap, and your interest and excitement will be restored, along with your self-confidence. You’ve got at least another 15-20 years of working left in you, going by your family history.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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