Stick to your own tune with personal style
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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend saw the Elvis movie with her girlfriends, and now she wants me to get my long hair cut into a “pompadour” like his. She says lots of guys are doing it now. Oh yeah? I haven’t seen one in Winnipeg yet. I also refuse to wear eye makeup which she has asked me to do when we go out to bars. She has volunteered to put it on for me.
I asked her why she was suddenly pushing all this crap on me, and she said, “Because the Elvis look really turns me on!” I’ve been wanting her to be more turned on to me, but I don’t want to change my look to be an Elvis wannabe. I’d feel stupid and it wouldn’t work anyway. For one thing, my hair is thick, red and curly, not jet black. I refuse to get it dyed.
As for the musical aspect, I’m a musician and have played in bands. I sing and play guitar pretty well, but I can’t sing like Elvis Presley. I sing normal country music. I just don’t want to impersonate some dead guy! I want her to be turned on by me. I don’t want to break up with her, as it took me a long time to get a girlfriend.
But I do want to excite her more. She hasn’t been that crazy for me sexually. Should I tell her goodbye or hang in there, so I still have someone? I learned that lesson through COVID.
— Scared of Being Lonely, St. James
Dear Scared: Anybody who’s trying to style their mate up like someone they’d rather have, is not going to be there one minute after they spot something closer to that very particular look they prefer.
Make space for a new person to love by saying goodbye to this fake girlfriend. She’s been tearing down your confidence to the point where she hoped you’d be willing to let her re-make you into her Elvis figure.
What you really need is a new girlfriend who gets a kick out of your personality and loves to run her fingers through your curly, red hair. Then there’ll be natural heat between you!
Why not stack the deck by looking for your new lady in a country music bar? You can easily compose a little country song for her on a special day, if you feel inspired by her — but you’ll be in charge of that. Your days of being a doormat are over.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I work in a place located near a great gym. My work openly encourages fitness, especially with the sales staff. Apparently, it boosts sales. So what the heck? I started working out every day!
I’m a middle-aged guy and got out of shape over the years, but I know muscles have “memory” and like to snap back into shape quickly. My gut has flattened out fast, and I’m thinking I’d like to get back into competitive bodybuilding.
I floated this idea to my partner (also a guy) and he said, “I’m all for that! You’re looking much better. At your age, I was worried you were going to eat yourself into an early heart attack.”
Talk about a kick in the confidence. Is that what he really thinks of me — that I’m so old, I’ll be on the brink of death if I don’t get rid of every ounce of fat? Now I almost feel like quitting.
— Insulted and Deflated, Downtown
Dear Insulted: Backhanded compliments hurt a lot more than the one who offers them might realize. Your partner needs to be told that, but you don’t need to quit weightlifting over it. Do you realize your partner could be growing jealous over your re-emerging physique, which is making you look younger and fitter again? Just make yourself happy!
Please send your questions and comments to email@example.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.