Spill beans on veggie thief with surprise hamper

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/09/2023 (770 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My neighbour, who has more money than he knows what to do with, has been stealing fall vegetables from my garden! I caught him on my backyard camera again while I was at the lake! He’s too lazy to tend his own garden anymore, especially when he has mine to raid. It galls me that he thinks he’s putting one over on me. I don’t want us to be enemies, but he needs to stop! What do you suggest I do?

— Nobody’s Fool, North End

Dear Nobody’s Fool: Pick the kinds of vegetables you’ve seen your neighbour stealing from you and make him a present he’ll never forget — a basket of your veggies featuring his proven favourites! He’ll either be confused at getting more, or embarrassed because he knows he’s been caught. To make your point crystal clear, say cheerfully, “All you have to do is ask from now on!” Then watch him colour up!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a scrunched-up love letter in my husband’s jeans pocket from the woman who came before me. Her name was scrawled under “With love” at the bottom. I know her by name because he and I have no secrets about our pasts. At least, I thought we didn’t. These are currently his favourite jeans, so he must have received the letter recently.

I read every word because I couldn’t help myself — pathetic of me!

That woman is bone lonely and was begging him to stop by and “just say hello.” That’s a laugh! They weren’t a match in any way except one. I remember my husband laughing about the relationship and saying sex was all that kept them together. Still, it really bothered me to see the pet names she called him in the letter, and how much she claims to love him still. The letter was undated, so I’m clinging to the hope it’s scrunched up because it’s old.

I haven’t said anything to my husband yet because I love him so much! I can’t bear to open this can of worms. Even so, it’s tearing me up. Are they already in touch? Has he been going over there? My whole world would collapse if the answers are what I’m afraid they might be. What should I do?

— Feeling Sick, Charleswood

Dear Feeling Sick: You have to say something because it’s making you sick. Just take the letter and hand it to him, and say, “I read every word and I’m very upset. What is going on?” Then wait, while he answers.

It may be an old letter he chanced upon and was going to throw in the garbage, and just forgot. But it may not! So, don’t cover your face with your hands as he’s explaining. Watch his face closely, for the truth.

Since these are his current jeans, it could be a recent letter, but it may be he found it somewhere in his old stuff recently and re-read it. It could be he was keeping it to stash it away somewhere to read once in a while, for an ego boost. Humans do that kind of thing sometimes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a serious girlfriend who doesn’t like it that I’m going to university this fall while she’ll still be back in high school in Grade 11 in our hometown. We’ll be living apart for two years and I’ll be driving to see here whenever I can. Today she called me on her cell crying, and said she had a nightmare that I broke up with her because I found a new girlfriend.

I told her that was nuts and she had nothing to base it on. Other guys at our high school will be looking at her, but I’m not trying to make her feel guilty! How can I handle this? I plan to drive home every weekend I can. What else can I do to keep her happy?

— Feeling Guilty for Nothing, southern Manitoba

Dear Feeling Guilty: A lot of Grade 12 grads from the country leave their sweethearts to go to universities and colleges in the city and a good portion are lonely for months! Some drive home every weekend until they make a new group of friends.

Tell your girlfriend you will probably be the lonely one while she still has most of her friends. Also remind her she may find a different guy that interests her when you’re away so much. Ask her how she’d feel if you were plaguing her with jealous thoughts before anything has even happened? Whatever you do, don’t bow to pressure to quit your university adventure in the city to appease her as that would be a colossal mistake!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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