Windfall eases angst over later-life partnership

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This article was published 19/09/2023 (763 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m retired and in my late 60s with three casual girlfriends — no sex — though I am healthy and up for it. It was their idea, and I’m OK with that. I get it! No smart woman wants to get physically close and married to a man my age, thinking they may soon have to look after him in his dotage.

Whenever any of my lady friends complain they’re not the only woman in my life, I explain why. They don’t argue the situation. They need to watch out for themselves; two of them are already widows, and one divorced.

Recently, everything changed for me. One of my brothers died and left me a surprising amount of money — high six figures. Word got out and now one of my lady friends is suddenly acting very interested, and being really sweet and loving. I like the attention, but I’m not stupid. What should I do? I never thought I’d be in a position where a woman wanted me for my wealth!

— In it for the Money? Portage la Prairie

Dear In it for the Money: A big windfall inheritance is a wonderful thing, especially when you’re older, so hurray for you. You’re actually in a great position to find a brand-new partner, and make a fresh start on a more romantic footing. You can look for a real romance now and be happy about your situation.

Because of your inheritance, you can afford personal care down the road, if you need it, and no new lady needs worry she’s signing on as a nursemaid.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My newly divorced son is about to propose marriage to the carbon copy of his first wife. Obviously, I’m worried. My son is educated, but unfortunately is work smart and people dumb.

As his mother, I need to warn him, so (blush), I took him to the bar to lower his defences. Three drinks later, I pulled out my special ammunition. My boy has always loved my homemade games, so I knew he’d give it a try.

It was a list of personality traits. I called out each trait, and he had to match them with his ex-wife, possible new fiancée, or both. By the end it was clear these two women may look different, but are exactly the same personality type.

Now I fear I was wasting my efforts. He’s not answering my calls, and that’s not like him.

— Worried Mom, St. Vital

Dear Worried Mom: You’re sounding like the possessive mother-in-law type. The silence may indicate both he and his lady are angry. If he went to her feeling insulted, he’ll no doubt have mentioned your customized game — and the phrase “carbon copy” may rankle.

A discussion about human beings, noting the types of mates they sometimes choose, would have gotten the message across more subtly. You need to take a big breath now and accept this type of woman is your son’s natural taste.

Then apologize! Tell your son you’re retiring from interfering and assure him you’ll step back. He can find his own way with his new love. You only have one son, and you don’t want to lose him.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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