Curling fling fizzles with awkward silence

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a hot-looking guy at curling recently and he really annoyed me at first. Then I realized he was just trying to get my attention, one way or another.

I finally phoned him up and asked him out for drinks, and shocked him. We have been wild for each other’s bodies ever since.

The only trouble is he has a girlfriend working on a project in another province who will be back in May. We only meant this fling to be a joke, kind of like getting curling revenge on each other after our games, but now I’ve developed real feelings for him, not just sexual ones. Ugh.

I asked him if that was happening to him, and he went silent. Double ugh. What do you think?

— Painful Silence, St. Vital

Dear Painful Silence: Silence does not usually mean agreement. Rather, here it likely means, “We’re in trouble now. I don’t feel the same way about you, and I don’t know what to say to you.”

So, keep your goodbye chat short. You might say, “Thanks for the good times and I wish you well. It was exciting, but now it’s over.”

And that should be it for you two.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It’s like a merry-go-round at my house this winter. The guy who rents my furnished basement suite with kitchen has a girlfriend who comes over after he’s home from his Saturday pub nights. She stays until about lunchtime. I hear the door slam, and the sexy goodbye endearments.

By late afternoon, the guy’s second regular girlfriend shows up with bags of food, and I can smell them cooking dinner, and she stays all night — lots of noise. Then she goes home, and the first woman comes back the next day.

My question is: why does he have all the luck and the guy who owns the property (me) can only listen to it? My renter is so busy with women he doesn’t even have to leave his place on the weekends.

— Need Some Lessons, West End

Dear Need Lessons: You’ll first have to get out and make some new friendships or get on the dating scene. That could take a few weeks or months, but you could have at least one new interest lined up before the snow melts.

So first try to identify what kinds of women are interested in you — not just the ones who generally like your personality. You’re not looking for “just friends” here.

Relationship counselling could help you with some tests on compatibility. They are fun to do and can point you in the right direction — that’s the running start you need. Then consider some extra counselling on how to better connect with someone in the beginning and then taking a relationship deeper.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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