Put foot down to avoid serious brother bother

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m the big brother (eight years older) of a second-year university student and I’m worried I’m heading for big trouble. His girlfriend has become interested in me.

I’m single, in my early 30s and have a career that pays me pretty well, which she lets me know she likes. I don’t think she likes me for my personality — I’m pretty serious — but I do already own a nice house, two vehicles and a hot tub, which she mentions.

I worry it’s starting to bug my brother that she wants to befriend me. He is a great guy and I would hate to lose my only brother. He is still studying for his career, with a few years to go.

His girlfriend already has a good job in a medical field. If she can wait it out, my younger brother will have a much better career and more money than I do.

How do I tell my brother she is flirting with me behind his back, and dropping in at my house on stupid excuses?

— Uncomfortable Older Brother, East Kildonan

Dear Uncomfortable: This young woman could end up making enemies of you two brothers. To stop her double-dealing now, be blunt, but not crude. Tell her you’ve loved your brother for his whole lifetime, you are protective of him and you want only the best for him. Tell her that he deserves a woman who is totally loyal and she has to stop coming by.

But that might not be enough for her. If she still comes by, answer the door, but don’t invite her in. Say a brief hello, and “Can I help you with something? I’m pretty busy,” while you hold onto the doorknob.

She probably won’t bother coming by for much more of that cold treatment.

If she does, talk to your brother and risk his wrath. He may try to blame it on you, as if he thinks you are flirting with her. Give him clear examples of her behaviour, so he will understand.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate myself up to almost 180 pounds and then dieted it off, so now I’m down to 145 pounds. My husband wouldn’t diet with me, and he’s still dangerously overweight. He used to play hockey, but quit when he got a night job and started eating extra late for something to do.

Recently however, he switched to a day job, so he can play hockey again if he wants, as there are evening and weekend leagues. What can I do to get him back on the ice? I don’t want to lose him to a heart attack. That’s how his dad died at a young age.

— Love My Husband, St. James

Dear Love My Husband: Some people — particularly guys — will go at a sport hard enough to start losing some weight.

Hockey would be a great start for your husband now he’s working days again.

Can you get him interested in skating at outdoor rinks with you as a fun thing to do, as well as to build up his stamina?

Also, do some research at your nearest community centres to find a recreational hockey league he might enjoy playing in.

And how about you? Women’s hockey is lots of fun, too, and would help keep you in shape. Plus, you would have one more fun thing in common with your man.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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