To up your game, find partner who likes to play

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On the weekend my girlfriend and I had just finished having sex, when she said bitterly, “I had no climax, again.” She said she wasn’t going to fake it anymore.

Then she went quieter than she usually does after sex, and it got so tense I spitefully asked her what sex was like with her ex-boyfriend. She said quietly, “It was great, even when it wasn’t Earth-shaking.”

Then she got dressed, grabbed her keys and left in the middle of the night, at -25 C. Since then, she’s just replied to my texts with two- or three-word answers, saying things like, “Just relax” or “Get over it.”

She hasn’t actually broken up with me. I can’t work anything out with her if she’s not talking to me. I’m still half in love with her. What can I do?

— Hurting, Elmwood

Dear Hurting: Your girlfriend doesn’t seem the type to give you lessons on how to turn her on. So, make it a 2026 resolution to find a more open and suitable girlfriend, and when the time comes ask her about how you can help please her.

Human bodies are like different makes of cars, and new couples can truly raise their sexual fun quotient by check out all the “features” and demonstrating to each other what really turns them on.

The good news? Many women enjoy doing just this. So let your present mate go on her grumbling way. You need a new love partner who is adventurous and more willing to openly engage, as sex really is a two-person “game.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been married three years now to a gorgeous guy I love, but he just broke my heart in a million pieces. He sat me down the other night and told me he wants an “open” relationship to see other people sometimes, but I’d be the primary one.

I just cried and cried. I couldn’t believe he would say something like this. Now I understand why he didn’t want to rush into starting a family.

I ignored my best friend, who told me before Christmas she thought he was sketchy as a husband, as he has continued to be a “bar star” type. I thought I could change him, because he loved me, but it turns out I can’t.

Where do I go from here? I’m so upset that my stomach aches every day and I’ve lost 10 pounds in three weeks. Please help!

— Can’t Stomach ‘Open’ Marriage, Portage la Prairie

Dear Can’t Stomach It: You and your man got married and promised to be true, and that meant not sharing your bodies with outside partners.

Now that you know the truth about your husband’s continued “bar star” behaviour, you have an important decision to make.

But know this, before having the big talk with him — while it’ll hurt to break up, it’ll hurt worse if you allow yourself to knowingly be the wife he cheats on. And you are fully aware now that he won’t be changing that about himself.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My teenagers take money out of my purse without asking me first.

If I mention I’m short a 10- or 20-dollar bill, they easily confess to “borrowing” the money — but they don’t think they should have to pay it back. They say, “It’s family money anyway and it’s just going to feeding your kids.”

I guess that’s logical, as I am a single mom and work nine-to-five, and it is probably paying for snacks and drinks. But it still feels weird. Help please!

— Divorced Single Mom, North End

Dear Mom: Teens should not learn it’s OK to slip money out of their parents’ wallets and purses without permission. It weakens the taboo against stealing — and that can be dangerous.

Make sure you give them adequate money for essentials, without them having to ask. Tell them they can also ask politely for extra money, if it’s needed.

If your kids need money for something at school, they should have a form saying so. You’ll also need to provide money for the bus and a weekly allowance for pocket money. Plus, for safety’s sake, they also need emergency cash for a taxi home, especially in the winter. You could also set them up on a ride-sharing app using your account.

If your teenagers want to earn more spending money on their own, they could think about getting part-time jobs like babysitting or shovelling sidewalks in your neighbourhood.

The main point is to insist on dealing with money honestly and openly, from now on.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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