Sulking won’t help rekindle romance with wife

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new wife from up north says she’s crazy about me, but I’m not sure.

We first met online, and then she and I got together in a very big way and quickly tied the knot in November. I’d had enough lonely-guy fever and told her she didn’t even have to work if she didn’t want to.

Then, right after Christmas, two of her female friends from her hometown asked if they could stay in our extra bedroom until they found jobs in Winnipeg.

I couldn’t stand the thought of them living with us for very long, so I got them jobs right away at the business I work at. Now I’m waiting for my wife to help them move out of our place.

To be honest, I’m fed up with my generous wife putting all her energy into these old friends and their problems. What about me?

My wife says I’m jealous of them and grumpy and hard to please. She’s right about one thing — I really don’t like these two staying here and having to be quiet when we have sex or a disagreement.

Please help me get rid of them, fast.

— Four’s a Crowd, The Maples

Dear Four’s a Crowd: Give those annoying girlfriends of hers some competition when it comes to spending leisure time with your wife.

Start by taking your mate out on dates to concerts, plays, movies and sporting events, as well as fun dinners with other couples. Plan things out together and circle all the dates on a big calendar.

It’s also time you rebuilt your own fun life with your male friends. Once you get married, it’s not smart to completely stop being socially independent.

For a healthy relationship, both you and your wife need time with friends on your own.

During the week, there are lots of fun sports or recreational activities you could sign up for. A little exercise is great for improving mental health.

The main thing is, don’t simply focus on the negative and wish for everything to somehow get back to the way it once was. That’s a dead end.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I know my work colleague is having an affair with a co-worker, but I don’t think she’s aware I know.

I also know who the guy is and where they go hide out in our building and where they go after work.

Do I have to keep my mouth shut?

I haven’t even told my best friend at work yet.

— Bustin’ to Tell, Weston

Dear Bustin’: Well, you’ve already told me and my readers, so that’s probably enough.

Pretend to yourself that you don’t know and don’t care. You getting involved here is not in anyone’s best interest. If things end badly for this couple, you don’t want to be part of spreading the rumours about them that may have contributed to the problem.

By the way, if these lovebirds do come out of the woodwork and announce anything, do your best to look oh-so-surprised.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography