Don’t ditch your out-of-this-world dreams

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I always wanted to study the stars and the intricacies of outer space. My parents supported me in my dream to study astronomy seriously and perhaps get involved in space travel.

I moved far away to a fantastic university program which I really loved. Then, sadly, it was over. I was still not in space, just watching others do it — the chosen few. So, I moved back home to ponder another career path.

Now, my Winnipeg love interest is talking marriage, but I’m still more in love with the idea of going into outer space at some point in my middle-aged life. He just laughs, with love in his voice. Why? He wanted to be a famous movie star and that didn’t happen for him, either!

I don’t want to be stuck down here forever on Earth, when I dream every night of outer space. How important is it to go after your own dreams and not be compromised, not even by your love of an earthling?

— Mixed Up, Charleswood

Dear Mixed Up: You can learn to go after your own dreams — and sometimes settle for something related, but not quite as grand.

It really is only a select few who make the grade as astronauts, but with your academic interest, you can certainly work to professionally support missions that help others leave Earth’s atmosphere and return safely.

There are also many scientific space missions that utilize remote “rovers” or similar technology to explore planets like Mars and other bodies in the solar system. The scientists involved in these projects are extremely passionate about their work, even without leaving the planet themselves.

While there have been some space “tourism” opportunities to get willing travellers into orbit, it tends to be prohibitively expensive (unless you’re a billionaire).

So put things in some perspective and hopefully your bitterness can be swapped for a spirit of renewed curiosity in the universe. That’s the best way to respect your deep interest in the subject and not become cynical.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a beautiful baby girl with a young guy early in my life, and that child grew up to be a wonderful young woman.

In her early years, her birth father didn’t want to have any contact with her. Then, she moved away from home at 17, and that upset him. He felt he may have missed his chance to connect.

She’s 19 now, and although her dad has changed his mind about wanting to get to know her, she had not been interested in meeting him.

However, since his new interest in her has not waned, and with even my ex’s wife on board for a reunion, my daughter’s stance seems to have softened somewhat.

I can tell now her dad and his partner really hope I will be the one to help get them together. But how?

— Willing, But Feel Awkward, West End

Dear Awkward: You could consider arranging and hosting a family “party” at your place with lots of good food and the opportunity for daughter and father to interact to the degree they’re comfortable with. With more people around, it may not feel as awkward as it might with just the two of them.

You could also display family photos, especially of your daughter as she’s grown up, to help break the ice somewhat. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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