Bit of brainstorming could bring you closer

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend and I have been together six years and have broken up seven times. We always get back together within a few weeks because we’re so similar. We can even finish each other’s sentences!

I must admit I’m an interesting guy — intelligent, funny, and I pick up skills fast. My girlfriend is the same. We have tried to stay apart and have looked for other people who are different from us, but that never works out, because we’re always correcting them.

People who don’t know much say we’re perfect for each other because of this sameness. But being virtually identical in many ways isn’t as much fun as you’d think. In fact, sometimes it’s like dating yourself! What can we do to help make things work for the longer haul?

— Almost Like Twins, Westwood

Dear Almost Like Twins: You two need to explore challenging but unique career fields, ones that work with your types of intelligence.

With each of you focused on challenges in your respective subject area, sharing anecdotes and specific challenges with one another at the end of a day might facilitate better communication, as it will be more of a novelty.

The trick for you two is not to always “step in” and lay out answers, even when you realize you can, and instead really listen to what your partner has to say.

Don’t get too down on your similarities, as there can also be some real positives to thinking alike that can help you be happier lovers and effective parents, if you start a family down the road.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My parents believe everyone should earn to pay for their own post-secondary education, as they’ll take it more seriously than if someone else foots the bill. At this rate, it’s going to take me eight years to slog through a four-year university degree, working day and night!

My folks plan to do a lot of travelling once my brother and I graduate high school, but where does that leave us for education funds? Don’t they care about their kids’ futures?

— Shocked at Selfishness, River Heights

Dear Shocked: Not everybody has parents who can afford to pay for their post-secondary education, or even who want to do so. After graduating high school, it could make sense for you to work a full year, to build a small nest egg to at least ease your financial stress during your first year of university or college. Who knows — maybe if your folks see your commitment to saving for your own education they’ll be inspired to kick in some funds.

You should also apply for as many bursaries as you can, and you can also consider students loans. That way you wouldn’t have to work so hard at a job that you can’t stay awake to study enough for your courses.

Instead of focusing on your parents’ education funding philosophy, be proactive and start laying down a game plan for how you can help fund yourself toward a career that really interests you. Good luck in your endeavours!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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