Keep your vote secret from abusive husband

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I secretly voted differently from my husband during the last election and “cancelled” his vote. I have been feeling guilty about that and it’s been hard to keep quiet. Before the election he knew my feelings were for a different party, but made me promise to vote for his party. I voted with my heart instead.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/10/2015 (3988 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I secretly voted differently from my husband during the last election and “cancelled” his vote. I have been feeling guilty about that and it’s been hard to keep quiet. Before the election he knew my feelings were for a different party, but made me promise to vote for his party. I voted with my heart instead.

I don’t have an honest feeling of apology within me, but I’m sorry I had to go behind his back. I know he thinks of our family as a team, so he gets to score a few more votes because our sons are old enough to vote. He expects everyone in the family to vote the same way he does (he believes he is the leader). Should I confess what I did to my husband? He is likely to strike me. It would not be the first time.

— His Disobedient Wife, Winnipeg

 

Dear Disobedient: Free and private voting is the purpose of the secret ballot — you cast your ballot and vote honestly. How about you keep your vote secret, put up with the guilt and get on with the next chapters of your life? Truth at any cost is not the way to go if you have an abusive spouse. Your husband has been violent with you in the past, and confessing could bring on a beating that would not be good for your health and safety, and could be traumatic for younger children still at home.

You say nothing about wanting to leave your husband. Should you want to talk to someone about the violence, call the toll-free crisis line at Manitoba Association of Women’s Shelters. If you are in danger, call 911. If you are in crisis, please call 1-877-977-0007. Assistance is available 24/7.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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