Show your husband you are as fun as his friends

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This article was published 02/11/2015 (3986 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can’t stand my husband’s buddies. They are so tight! If they aren’t meeting to watch sports and drink beer, they’re playing hockey, going to somebody’s garage to help fix a vehicle or playing poker in our basement. My husband and I had a whirlwind courtship and none of this behaviour with his friend showed because he was always with me. The other day one of the guys said, “We’re so glad to have our old buddy back. When he was chasing you, we never saw him.”

I said, “Well, now I never see him,” and a tear rolled down my cheek. He said, “Uh-oh!” opened his beer and took off down to our basement and the card game. I don’t know what to do. This doesn’t feel like being newlyweds. He loves being back with the guys much more than hanging out with me. Please help me. I left one marriage, and I could leave another one. Please help me.

— Married Another “Man’s Man,” Transcona

Dear Married: It’s important to spend enough time with a prospective partner to let his guard down and drop the attentive Romeo act to be who he really is. But you do like the outgoing macho type with friends who likes to participate in activities, you just want him to spend more fun times with you aside from eating meals together and having sex. So, research what’s going on in town every week and show him a fun alternative to hanging out with his male friends all the time.

Make a list of things you want to do together, along with some mini-vacations, and tape it up on the inside of a kitchen cupboard. Since he’s the active type, he’s likely to go along with this and will find out how much fun you two can have exploring together. In other words, compete with his old buddies, but don’t try to wipe them out. Start spending more time with your girlfriends, giving both of you some space, and this marriage could expand horizons for both partners.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man in my 50s. My deceased wife, who was a nice person, unfortunately died of cancer. She was lovely, but not what you’d call a ball of fire when it came to sex. I’d like to meet a great woman five to 10 years younger than I am, but those woman are also looking for men younger than they are.

Who can blame them? As the last online date pointed out, “The last thing I want is a man who’s trying to shoot pool with a rope.” What is the answer for me? Most women my age or older have let themselves go, and the first thing they want me to do is look past that to their beautiful inner self. If the woman’s inner self is so beautiful, why is she covering herself with 50 extra pounds? I’m fit, fun, intelligent, make good money and I’m a really nice guy, but can’t find my match at my age.

— Caught in a Catch 22, Fort Garry

Dear Catch 22: Write an online message that tells women you don’t match your age number. Say you are fit and sensual and looking for someone around your age who is also younger physically and mentally. If a person is older and enthusiastic about sex, they need to get that into the message, along with a lot of other interests. There are many exceptions to the women you’ve met so far, but their age number may be the same as yours, or even a little older.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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