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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is so harsh with me! Recently she withheld my allowance for four weeks because she was angry with me for seeing a sweet guy she said I wasn’t supposed to date. All I could do was go to school and come home. I live close to the school and so she didn’t even give me bus tickets to go anywhere. I couldn’t even buy tampons, which I usually buy with my own money, so I stole from her: I took something of hers and sold it to my friend.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/11/2015 (3984 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is so harsh with me! Recently she withheld my allowance for four weeks because she was angry with me for seeing a sweet guy she said I wasn’t supposed to date. All I could do was go to school and come home. I live close to the school and so she didn’t even give me bus tickets to go anywhere. I couldn’t even buy tampons, which I usually buy with my own money, so I stole from her: I took something of hers and sold it to my friend.

I heard her bragging about this punishment to one of her friends on the phone. I’m so hurt and mad! I also feel guilty for stealing. It’s a mess and I cried myself to sleep last night. Please help. My dad wouldn’t take my side or even help because he’s a big wuss. If I tell her I stole something from her, she’ll cut me off again and for longer. I’m 16 and need to have basic money.

— Upset Daughter, Winnipeg

 

Dear Upset: Is it possible to replace what you took before you apologize? Would the friend sell it back to you, even at a higher price, if you explained the situation? If not, and you suspect you’re in for a very long money deprivation punishment, build up a few weeks of allowances so you won’t be destitute, and then confess. But first, talk with a school guidance counsellor for advice about how to confess. She may want to see you and your mom together.

The bottom line for you is it is time to get a job. Working at fast-food outlets, chain restaurants and coffee shops is the best way to get started in the work world. You have also learned some important lessons: 1. Money is power. The one who holds the purse strings can usually be the boss. 2. Poverty — where you have little or no money for basic needs — often breeds desperation and sometimes desperate acts. While you’re getting an education and living at home, you can still maintain some financial independence by working and not having to ask for personal money. Lots of teenagers work, and it helps them grow up in their own eyes, and in the eyes of their parents.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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