No need to tell kids yet about same-sex relationship

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A long time ago I had a loving sexual relationship with another man when I was studying agriculture at university. I was married for more than two decades and didn’t experience anyone other than my wife all that time. I live in the country and have a farm. My religious wife died a while ago, and our less-than-liberal kids in their mid-20s live in the city. I was sitting alone on the farm, and after a few months I got on the computer and feelings of curiosity resurfaced. I quickly found the man I had loved, but had no chance in those days of being together. Now he is divorced and out of the closet.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/10/2015 (3995 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A long time ago I had a loving sexual relationship with another man when I was studying agriculture at university. I was married for more than two decades and didn’t experience anyone other than my wife all that time. I live in the country and have a farm. My religious wife died a while ago, and our less-than-liberal kids in their mid-20s live in the city. I was sitting alone on the farm, and after a few months I got on the computer and feelings of curiosity resurfaced. I quickly found the man I had loved, but had no chance in those days of being together. Now he is divorced and out of the closet.

He wanted to see me again, so I drove to Winnipeg and met with him. We’re both older, but he still had the same eyes, laugh and personality. At the end of a weekend, he said always had feelings for me and had never forgotten me. I felt the same. We decided to start seeing each other again, but I don’t want to hide it anymore. He is already out to his kids, but they are very liberal. My grown-up kids have no idea and will be intensely shocked. What do you suggest I do?

— No Experience With This, Rural Manitoba

 

Dear No Experience: Your grown-up offspring are in for a jolt, but they’re old enough to be able to withstand it. Still, there’s no point in saying anything at this point. With your less-than-liberal kids, announce it when some time has passed and you have a definite relationship. Some older people who are coming out tell their most open-minded offspring first, let them absorb it, and then fairly quickly tell the less liberal ones. Siblings are very helpful to each other in these situations because they can spout off freely without fear of hurting you.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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