When you lose your job because of drinking, you are an alcoholic

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/12/2015 (3573 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m downtown most of the time when I’m still supposed to be at work. I lost my job a month ago because of my drinking, and now, unbeknownst to my wife, we are living on our savings. If I don’t get another job by the middle of January, I will have to confess to her, but how can I tell her and the kids what happened, and worst of all, that it was my quitting early and drinking on work-time that got me fired?

I tell my wife I have one drink on the way home (because she can smell my breath) and that I take the bus because I’m so careful about drinking and driving. The truth is, I leave work early. I have a job in sales where no one I see at the bar knows what time I am supposed to finish work— or so I thought. I meet my drinking buddies for an hour or so and then I drive a few long blocks from home and walk like I’m coming from the bus. I’ve become a big liar and I don’t like myself anymore.

— Becoming a Major Drunk, Winnipeg

Dear Becoming: You’re farther down the road than just “becoming” an alcoholic. Your next step should be a visit to the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba for a talk with a counsellor and some testing to see how far along you are. Are you also cross-addicted, as so many anxious or pain-ridden people are, and using pills, marijuana or harder drugs as well as liquor?

Above all, you need to figure out what’s eating you. How did you get to this place where your drinking is endangering your job, your health, your marriage, your kids and everyone around you? There are big problems underneath all this.

And yes, I do know liquor can taste good and it’s enjoyable to drink with friends.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m the writer of the recent letter about the expectations of rich relatives and how they make poor people feel at Christmas. I was laid off during the time I spoke of and couldn’t afford to buy gifts for relatives and pay postal costs. We suggested that they buy gifts for themselves instead of us, and we buy gifts for ourselves. (Usually we got gifts we couldn’t use.) They agreed, and that way everybody got gifts they wished for and we bought what we could afford and use. It still works after all these years! I hope this will help.

— Getting Creative In Hard Times, Winnipeg.

Dear Getting Creative: That idea might work for older people, but it’s tough for youngsters. As adults, you can do your self-giving or play the game where you buy goofy gifts and then trade them three times each, and the last person has to keep the gift. Adults really enjoy that and see the humor in funny or even downright ugly gifts. Little kids need real presents filled with love from you or Santa.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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