Surprise! Wife didn’t like vacuum for Christmas

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/12/2015 (3563 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a new husband and a bad Santa Claus. I’m in my mid-20s and don’t have the imagination for gifts. I strike out with my wife because my gifts are too practical. I’m always trying to think of something that would make her life easier. She calls those “Mom gifts.” Last year, after she opened her fancy Dyson vacuum cleaner, she said to me through tears, “Don’t you love me?” I was shocked. “Does this not prove how much I love you?” I said and listed off the price. She just walked into the bathroom and I could hear sniffles through the door.

I know it’s last minute, but I still can’t think of anything.

— Gift-Buying Loser, Wolseley

Dear Gift-Buying Loser: She wants a fiancée-style gift, not something for the house. Take whatever money you have for this and go straight to a jewelry store. Presumably she has a diamond ring now. Maybe it’s time for a pendant, some jewelry with her birth stone or diamond earrings. Forget lingerie — that is fraught with pitfalls! Guys often mess up by buying the wrong size, which elicits comments such as, “You think I’m that fat?” or a sad, “You’ll have to take this back. It’s too small for me.” Worse still is the overly erotic gift: “Why did you buy me this ridiculous thing? This gift was for you, not me.”

Jewelry-store staff are trained to help men. They know what questions to ask to figure it out. A female partner wants something that’s special so she will think of her guy when she wears it. Plus, she can wear it out and show it off at work and at parties. When she wears it, it will symbolize the romantic love between you. It doesn’t have to be terribly expensive, but for the price of a fancy vacuum (last year’s budget) you can get a beautiful piece. If you buy her a charm bracelet, you need to buy at least one charm to go with it that represents your love for her or a romantic memory.

If your wife wears jewelry frequently, take a couple of her favourite pieces to the store to show the salesperson her style. Most stores will even wrap your choice up for you. Don’t just stick a tag on it. Put a real card — a mushy card — with it, with a handwritten message, along with “I love you.” You’re going to be Mr. Popularity for a change. Most women want to think their guy made a big effort. The effects of this can last for months, especially if you boost it by doing something similar for Valentine’s Day.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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