Overweight friend feeling insulted

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/12/2015 (3571 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hurt my best friend when she asked me what I thought of her weight and I said, “Well, I’ve known you fat and I’ve known you thin, and it’s all the same to me.” She shrieked: “Are you calling me fat now?” It was too late — she immediately knew what I thought. Well, she is fat now! I knew her when we were both athletic, competitive runners; now she weighs twice as much. I never should have said it, but she is one big fat mama now. See? I could have called her much worse, but I didn’t.

Today I asked her to meet me for lunch and she said bitterly, “Oh no, I’m too fat. I’ll never eat in front of you again because you find me disgusting.” I yelled at her to shut up and hung up the phone. We aren’t talking now. This has gotten way out of proportion.

— Ruination of Best Friends, University of Manitoba

Dear Ruination: You can’t take back what you said without making the conversation longer and more hurtful, and possibly explosive all over again, if you meet up in person to talk about things. Your best bet is to write her a note stating all the things that are wonderful about her and end it with, “And that’s why I want us to continue to be besties.” She may not reply right away because she’ll need to chew it over, but she will be missing you too and will probably get back to you after a while.

She won’t want to run back until she’s punished you a bit, so don’t push.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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