Mess on dress has him feeling some stress
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/12/2015 (3670 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a dumb guy. I went to a big work Christmas party and managed to spill a drink during the dinner. It quickly ran off the table onto the lap — and formal dress — of the beautiful woman beside me, who works at our office. I tried to mop it off, but she pushed my hands off her wet lap and ran to the bathroom. When she came back, the dress looked clean, but was still damp. She took a cab home right away. I felt terrible.
Should I apologize to her again and ask if there were any lasting problems with the dress I soaked? I realize I could be asking for a $500 bill I can’t pay. What do you think?
— The Fumbler, Downtown
Dear Fumbler: Since you wouldn’t be able to pay for the damages anyway, and you said your apologies at the party, just let it go. Not good enough? If you just have to do something else, send her a card saying “Happy holidays — I’m so sorry about your dress.” But remember, if she thinks you’re a little too interested in her wet lap, you’ll have fumbled again.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was at a friend’s house for a holiday dinner and her rotten little kid, who must have something seriously wrong with him, walked by as I was bending over and said, “I’d like to kick you up the bum!” I heard it distinctly and so did others, including his mother. He just smiled an evil little smile. His mom whupped him three times on the butt and threw him in his room. I didn’t know what to say. What do you think I should have said?
— Shocked Guest, Southdale
Dear Shocked Guest: “Good!” would be the muttered response from most people. You were smart not to say anything. Be glad the short guy didn’t actually kick you up the bum. No telling what anyone would have done after that, if there were punishment meted out or if he got away with it.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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