Go out with wife on NYE or expect trouble

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My younger wife loves New Year’s Eve and I hate it. This has become a source of hurt and annoyance between us since we married five years ago. I am the New Year’s Eve Grinch in the family and she is the New Year’s Martyr. She likes to dress to the hilt and go out and dance and make merry and kiss everybody she knows at midnight. I have forbidden the kissing for health reasons, but I know she still gets a few in when I’m not looking.

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Opinion

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This article was published 27/12/2015 (3935 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My younger wife loves New Year’s Eve and I hate it. This has become a source of hurt and annoyance between us since we married five years ago. I am the New Year’s Eve Grinch in the family and she is the New Year’s Martyr. She likes to dress to the hilt and go out and dance and make merry and kiss everybody she knows at midnight. I have forbidden the kissing for health reasons, but I know she still gets a few in when I’m not looking.

We go, at her insistence, to a couple of parties thrown by her friends and family and I get dragged along. I let her know I’m not happy, but I’m there to watch out for her safety. This year she is so mad at my attitude she said she’s going alone. It sounds like an ultimatum to me. Should I go or not?

— New Year’s Eve Grinch, Downtown

 

Dear New Year’s Grinch: Go and be a wonderful date. Why do you have to be such a drip on New Year’s Eve? You knowingly spoil it for your wife every year, or at least put a damper on things. If she goes by herself this year, people will think your relationship is in trouble. She may feel embarrassed and might have too many drinks and get so bombed she has a fine time kissing everyone. She might also run into somebody younger and more fun who loves to go to New Year’s parties and dance. That could be trouble.

Don’t be a foolish older husband as you start off 2016. Marriage means a certain amount of sacrifice, and this is a small one. By sacrifice, that means cheerful sacrifice. It might involve some play-acting and merriment you don’t feel. I can guarantee she’s probably done some play-acting in bed for you when she’s too tired and you really need some loving. Most women do. How would you like it if she said next time, “Yeah. I’ll do it, but I don’t want to.” And then she gives it the minimum, and sulks before and after. That’s not the kind of sacrifice anybody wants in a marriage.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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