Thinking about NYE kisses driving her bananas

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to go out to this old-fashioned 1950s New Year’s Eve party our friends are having, but I don’t want to kiss anybody at midnight except my boyfriend. We’re both 21. I’ve asked my boyfriend to go home with me and be in bed at 11:45 p.m. “making hot-monkey love” as the year turns to 2016. He said, “No way, and miss all the fun? I’m not falling for that dodge.” What should I do?

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/12/2015 (3932 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to go out to this old-fashioned 1950s New Year’s Eve party our friends are having, but I don’t want to kiss anybody at midnight except my boyfriend. We’re both 21. I’ve asked my boyfriend to go home with me and be in bed at 11:45 p.m. “making hot-monkey love” as the year turns to 2016. He said, “No way, and miss all the fun? I’m not falling for that dodge.” What should I do?

— Nervous About Midnight, Fort Garry

 

Dear Nervous: The choice is to go with him and stake your claim on his lips at midnight, or send him off alone to that party while you stay home and worry. Hmm. I think you’d best go with him and nail down his kissy lips for five minutes at midnight. If he insists on kissing another woman or two, pick the second and third best guys for you, for a little peck of your own. Beyond that, make a fuss. Enough is enough.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I overeat, especially with a freezer full of baking and stuff my mother — a fantastic cook — stocks in there. Our whole family — three girls and our mom — are all totally fat, not just “pleasingly plump” as my mom says. Between us we could make another person.

I decided I wanted to start dating instead of pigging out and playing board games and stuff with my sisters. I went on a healthy diet and now I’m starting to have a body — a little exercise to tighten it up and I’m going to look hot by Valentine’s Day.

So what do you think has happened? The rest of the family started tempting me by baking brownies, deluxe nachos, chocolate-chunk cookies — all my favourites — and laying them out there beside me on the playing table. Finally I screamed, “Why do you want me to fail?” and they said, “We don’t, but why should we go without treats because you want to be a skinny minnie?” I feel like I have to move out now, like I’m not part of the Chub Club. Either I let them sabotage me or I lose the closeness.

— Don’t Want Bad Temptation, West End

 

Dear Don’t Want Temptation: Two can play this game. Why don’t you try to convert one of your sisters and get her to start getting fit in the new year. Or your mother. Get your mom working out with you and you’ve disabled the major baker. Get get her making some low-calorie substitutes as treats. If they’re as tasty as the other stuff, you might be able get the whole gang interested.

It’s not fun to be so overweight you miss out on having a regular social and dating life. You don’t have to be a skinny minnie, but you do have to be reasonably fit for dating and for your general health.

As for moving out, how old are you now? Most girls in the city move out when they’re in their early to mid-20s. You might consider it, not as a way to get rid of your sisters, but it may be time to expand your friendships and avoid so much temptation.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
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