Go on date-cation with new man

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/01/2016 (3566 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 30 and single. At this year’s holiday parties I met two new men I’m interested in, and here’s the weird thing: they are like peas in a pod. They are both dark-haired, fun, exciting, adventurous men.

I had been a single homebody before this because I was fat, insecure and lacked finances to be anything else. Last fall my granny gave me a thousand bucks and told me to get a new modern wardrobe, lose weight and go dancing. I couldn’t waste her money, so I lost weight and turned into an athlete of sorts. I felt hope and I felt sexy and surprisingly courageous. I started dating by asking guys out. I even put together a travel fund, so I could finally go on a short trip to Mexico or somewhere else hot.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been sleeping with both of these fun guys. I feel like a bit of a tramp sometimes, but most days it feels like I have an embarrassment of riches. Neither guy has asked for exclusivity, and I haven’t asked either. Besides, I don’t know which one I want yet. I take the pill, and carry my own high-quality condoms.

This morning in bed, one of the guys asked me to go on a hot holiday with him, and I said, “Yes! I’d love to.” No guy has ever asked dull old me to go anywhere before. Now I’m wondering what to do about the other guy. I like him, too. I’m going in mid-January for a week. What should I tell the other man at home?

— Little Tramp, St. Vital

Dear L.T.: First, don’t call yourself insulting old-fashioned names like “tramp.” Now, let’s solve the problem: if it were the other way around, what would you want to know about someone else’s trip away? Maybe nothing. If the other guy you’ve just started dating casually doesn’t ask questions, why volunteer information? He may be casually seeing other women too.

If asked, just say you’ll be away for a week, and if he asks why, say cheerfully, “A friend asked me to accompany him for a week.” The implication is the asker of this question could have asked you to go on a holiday, but he neglected to, so off you go! No apologetic language. If he’s upset, say, “You never asked me to be exclusive with you, nor did you ask me to travel with you, although I’m sure it would be fun.”

He may choose to drop out of the race for you, but do not make any apologies for your choice. You know what they say about snoozing and losing.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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