Stop wasting time with Mr. Noncommittal
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/02/2016 (3529 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. I just bought a house on my own, and he has moved in with me. I’m am a very open about communicating and talking about the future and how I feel. He never answers honestly. It’s always a joke response or he ignores me completely. I feel he isn’t sure about things. Before I bought the house, when I asked if we were going to get a place together, he told me to buy a house and he would move in with me. I feel so lost. Please help.
— Lost In Communication, Winnipeg
Dear Lost in Communication: How could you have gone three years with Mr. Lukewarm and this huge communication problem, and then moved into a house this guy takes no responsibility for? It’s like wandering in the fog with a silent person who doesn’t feel strongly enough to even know what he wants with you.
Does he say he loves you, wants to be your one and only, hopes to get married eventually with you and have kids? If not, then why are you tying yourself up with him when there are guys out there who would love you and love those things with the right woman. Maybe he has no desire for taking these steps with anybody, or maybe he just doesn’t care that much. He acts as though he’s being dragged along, doing you a favour. Kick the “roommate” out and get one or more female friends in to help you with the mortgage.
He’s not going to change. You’ve given this a three-year try. Free yourself and find a guy who is enthusiastic to be with you, commits to you, loves you like crazy and then build a life with him. Free yourself to find a communicator and enjoy the conversations that brings. This is not a real match for you or him, and deep down both of you know it. Ambivalence is basically a no vote. Why would you settle for that? What a waste of time.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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