Lay down ground rules about smoking around baby

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This article was published 17/05/2016 (3473 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I are expecting our first child. We are incredibly excited. However, this news also means the grandparents will have far less contact with us if they cannot respect our wishes for our child’s safety.

Their dog, for one, is out of control. They’ve treated him like a kid instead of a pet, therefore it doesn’t respect boundaries with humans. I have nightmares of my infant being mauled to death. But even if they didn’t have the dog anymore, there is the issue of second- and third-hand smoke. I’m talking years of it that has gone on to affect both my husband’s parents’ health, and there is no way at this point they’ll be able to reverse the damage done in their home.

So that means no home visits either. I’m sure they are still in denial about how the second-hand smoke affected their children growing up. How can we share this happy news, while setting boundaries and hoping it can still be happy?

— Worried and Pregnant, Manitoba

Dear Worried and Pregnant: Don’t mess up the happy news with the premature setting of rules. Say nothing until the baby arrives, and enjoy the pregnancy fun full out. When the baby comes home, keep the carrier up on the table and put up your handy dandy baby gate across the kitchen entry for the dog when the parents come to call. Without sounding nasty and uptight, you can say at the hospital, “We can’t have smoke in the same house as the baby. Anybody who smokes has to do it outside.”

As for the grandparents’ house, washing and painting the walls and getting some new (or decent used) furniture should help with the built-up smoke in their house. You can also get a baby gate to keep at their house.

Please send you questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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