These boots were made for cheating

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This article was published 17/12/2018 (2834 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My common-law wife asked me to clean the house because she was working double shifts to make more money for Christmas. I started on the bedroom.

Trouble is, I found an extra pair of footwear under our bed. Younger men’s boots, which I’d never wear.

When she got home, she saw I’d put the boots on the kitchen table. She quickly put them outside. I asked her whose boots they were, and she said quickly, “Mine!” I had to run to work and told her we would have a “serious talk” when I got home.

The boots were gone and so was she when I came home. She’d left a note on the table saying she was “with a friend.”

I phoned her mother, who loves me, and she admitted her daughter was staying with them. I asked why, and she said sweetly, “Because we’re protecting her from your temper, dear.” OK, I have to confess, I have had to hit her daughter once in a while for cheating on me.

I said I was coming over and her mother said, “No dear, you’re not, or my husband is going to call the police.”

I stayed put. I don’t want to go to jail. But I have to know who owns those boots! It’s driving me crazy.

— Anger is Rising, Winnipeg

Dear Anger: Who cares who owned the boots, when your live-in invited them to come into your bedroom on the feet of another man?

You can’t afford to have a rocky relationship, and end up in jail. This woman might inflame you to the point of losing what little control you have over your fists.

Maybe she’d like to see you in the clink. Ever think of that?

You and this woman don’t have a kind and honest relationship and you shouldn’t be together another day.

Let her stay at her parents’ and don’t call her. It’s over. Send her belongings to her parents place and stay away for good. And get some help for your anger problem before you get involved with another woman. Call Klinic for information on anger management programs (204-784-4090) as a big Christmas gift to yourself.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband loves dressing up like Santa Claus and visiting around the neighbourhood on Christmas Eve.

We bring my homemade baked treats on a kids’ sleigh — Santa’s big idea. I used to be the one who did all the work, but not this year. I’m tired of it. The Elf has revolted.

Last week, I asked Santa for help and he said that was my job. “This is not my job, it’s all yours,” I said. “You started this because you love to play Santa, but I got saddled with all the baking work.”

This year I’m ordering baking from someone else. Santa has sulked like a big baby all week.

What should I say to him? He wants his homemade treats done by me, as usual!

— Elf On Strike, Norwood

Dear On Strike: Tell him he’s welcome to bake homemade treats for everyone — and you’ll even give him the recipes while you play the Christmas music and wrap presents in the living room. If he says no, quickly place an order with a bakery or call a home baker and no one will be the wiser. (As if the neighbours would care, anyway.)

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend is coming home from university for a week at Christmas break.

Then she’s running right back to spend the rest of her time off with her new stinking rich boyfriend. She hasn’t bothered to tell me she is seeing someone else — one of our mutual friends did.

We need to break up ASAP!

Should I try to fake it through Christmas so I don’t upset both our parents, who are longtime friends and think we will one day get married?’

If I don’t sound very upset, it’s because I’m also sick of our long-distance relationship and have found someone here I am going to start seeing. Should I fake the whole Christmas thing to keep the peace, or race to dump my cheating girlfriend first?

— The Lesser of Two Fakers, Crescentwood

Dear Lesser: What’s wrong with Boxing Day for boxing up an old relationship that’s finished on both sides?

Since it’s only a matter of delaying the breakup a couple of days, either fake it with your girlfriend and pretend you don’t know about her new man, or talk it over honestly and quietly play out Christmas as old friends, while dodging marriage questions from your parents.

Breaking up will be harder on both sets of parents than on you, so for the sake of a few days, why not wait?

Then you can say, “Thanks for the memories and bye-bye” to your now ex-girlfriend as she flies away to her new beau. Then get on the phone and make a date with the new woman in your life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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