Don’t tell hubby about sex buddy’s advance

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This article was published 18/12/2018 (2848 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just ran into an old sex buddy of mine at my fiancé’s office Christmas party. He was all twinkles, hanging around and bringing me drinks and treats, like he used to do.

I flashed my solitaire engagement ring at him and said, “I’m engaged to that wonderful guy over there. You’re wasting your time trying to romance me.”

He shifted gears visibly. He said he didn’t care and that he was thinking farther into the future. I asked him what he meant and he said, “I’m your insurance. When the polish wears off, keep me in mind, and tell your future husband I said that.”

What nerve! Of course, I’m not going to tell my fiancé that. Well, that was my first thought.

And then, when I got home, I thought about all the women I know whose husbands either take them for granted or mess around outside the marriage “after the polish wears off” and the children arrive. Maybe I really should tell my fiancé I have options, to keep him on his toes. —Just Wondering, West End

Dear Wondering: Don’t fall into this trap, set and baited by your former sex buddy. Think about this: How would you like your fiancé to tell you he was keeping a hot female sex buddy on tap, for the time when “the polish wears off” your marriage — a little warning to keep you performing enthusiastically in the bedroom? You’d hit the roof!

So, button your ruby lips. Don’t even hint about this pinch-hitter or your marriage may be kaput before it starts.

Your sex buddy was keener on you than you were on him when he saw you. Regular sex buddies are cooler than that. He knows he was good enough for sex when you called, but never good enough to be your boyfriend. Now he’d like to stir up trouble in paradise. Don’t let him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a jolly, fat man, and I suggested yesterday he get a Santa suit and play Santa Claus for our nephews and nieces. I had no idea this would hurt him.

“So, you think of the way I look as a joke?” he said. Then he took off in his truck to the bar. I didn’t see him until a taxi pulled up at 2 a.m. and he lurched out of it. I unlocked the front door, and held it open. He walked past me, fell on the couch and slept there all night.

I apologized like crazy the next morning, but he was in no mood. He just stared at me with those blue eyes and drank coffee after coffee.

There’s an unhappy truce in the house now, but no intimacy. The thing is, I always did think of him as a kind of Santa Claus figure, but a sexy one. I loved his prematurely white hair, beard and sparkling blue eyes.

He wasn’t fat when I met him, but it didn’t bother me when he put on a little paunch as it kind of suited his look. I got to make love to a sexy Santa every night.

Now, there’s nothing, and he’s shaved his beard and cut his hair. Please help! — No Santa Lovin’ Anymore, Fort Garry

Dear Santa Lovin’: Show your husband your letter. It shows me that you really dug his sexy Santa look, and were not laughing at him at all. You loved it!

It’s hard to get back where you were after making your love partner feel self-conscious, but it can be done.

You’re going to have to be verbal, even if he isn’t saying much, so he knows exactly what you love about his looks, style, and brand of sexiness. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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