Matchmaking worked — for one of them

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/01/2019 (2802 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was introduced to a cute man with a newly broken heart over the Christmas holidays and did my best to cheer him up. He certainly perked up over the improvement in his sex life and social life during the three weeks I was in Toronto visiting family.

My brothers bunked me at this man’s house next door because there was too much traffic at the family home this year — and besides, my older brother was trying to play matchmaker.

Well, it worked. But, now that I’ve come back home, the Toronto guy is like a lovesick bull. I only meant for this to be a temporary fix for both of us, as I haven’t had a guy in my life for a year.

Now that I’m back home, he’s phoning and complaining about how lonely he is and how he misses my body. He doesn’t waste much time talking about life and news or my brother and his friends. It’s all about sex for him.

Now he wants to have phone sex, which I have done, but I don’t feel the warmth and friendship and love I need to do that with him.

How do I get rid of him without sending him back into the depths of despair for getting dumped twice in a row?

— Not His Girlfriend, St. James

Dear Not His GF: How old is this guy? He sounds like a big baby!

Do some research for him online and find out what kind of dating sites are out there for Toronto singles and send him the particulars.

He will soon understand that you are a friend and were just pinch-hitting until he learned he could find a love match in his own city.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is a crackerjack poker player and she can win most of the time. My young teenage sons played poker with her all Christmas, insisting on playing for their change.

She told them she wouldn’t let them win just because they were her grandsons and to “be prepared to lose every cent.”

Well, they played poker with her until they had nothing left in their change jars, as she predicted. Then they had the nerve to turn around and say grandma must be cheating!

I know how she wins, because she taught me a lot when I was young, but I’m loath to teach my sons for fear thy will be off to the casinos as soon as they are of age (or can find some fake ID).

— Upset Mama, East Kildonan

Dear Upset: They want to believe that gran cheats so it wasn’t their fault they lost their money.

Let them think grandma cheats, and let her take the heat. She should have known they would be fascinated.

Young men should not be getting addicted to poker. Talk to gran about pretending she had some tricks up her sleeve. Then it won’t seem like it’s something they need to spend time figuring out. And then, distract them. Take them out snowboarding and get them addicted to that, instead.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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