Old girlfriend all grown up, and looking for trouble

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/02/2019 (2461 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Help! I just ran into an old girlfriend from high school, and she sure has grown up. She used to be shy and quiet and natural-looking. Now she is half a foot taller with curves, long hair and purple nails.

She tapped me on the shoulder in a bar and asked me if I remembered her. I couldn’t miss that face with the big blue eyes and the cute overbite. But the rest of her was all new and all woman!

She asked me to dance and we danced for half the night — something we were good at in high school. I asked her out and then she dropped a bomb. She said she was married and her husband was out of town, whatever that means. She wore a discreet gold band on her left hand, so thin I hadn’t noticed.

I made some excuses and got away from her. Today she called me at work, wanting to know if I’d meet her for a drink at The Forks. I said I couldn’t, because she was married. She said, “Well, I’d like to be friends.”

I don’t have a lot of friends, and she’s interesting and nice, for sure. I said I’d think about it. My mind wants to do one thing and my body wants to do something that could get me in trouble. What do you think?

— Interested and Turned On, Downtown

Dear Turned On: This woman is a waste of your time and emotions. She might be interesting, but she’s playing a strange game. As a single man with feelings of desire and a romantic history with this woman, you’re just headed for trouble if you get tangled up with her.

She may have long stretches of time to fill when her husband is out of town, but he’s still her husband. Don’t be her fill-in fun, and don’t let yourself be a target for her man’s anger when he finds out about you. 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have had a long-lasting cold and flu that just won’t go away. My recent ex-girlfriend got wind of it and has been leaving care packages on my back doorstep. The latest box had cough syrup, cookies, multivitamins and a bottle of brandy.

I thanked her for the first package by phone and that was all the encouragement she needed to keep on dropping by with more boxes every few days. I need her to stop, but I can’t talk to her about anything anymore. She gets totally hysterical and cries and begs me to take her back.

I broke up with her because I felt she was unbalanced, needy and desperate. This is proof. What should I do?

— Not a Mean Man, Wolseley

Dear Not Mean: The secret gift-giving feels intimate to her, and she’s investing a lot of time in it. She may feel she’s showing her love and you will take her back.

Call someone in her family or circle of friends and tell them what she’s doing. Be clear you’re never going to be in a relationship with her again.

Tell them you feel like she’s stalking you and they need to help her before you call your lawyer. Good luck.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got this tattoo on my upper thigh when I was in a crazy mood and my new boyfriend thinks I should have it removed. It was inspired by the nickname my ex-boyfriend gave me, “Li’l Devil.”

My new guy lacks a sense of humour about this, and unfortunately knows the whole backstory, because I told him. I never thought we’d end up as a couple. It started as a lark, but now we’re seeing each other all the time. He’s obviously jealous and I don’t know what to do. I love my tattoo and don’t want to get rid of it. Should I keep it and get rid of him instead? This makes me really mad, but I do like a lot of things about him, like his farm and hot kisses. 

— Might Have to End It, Winnipeg

Dear Might: Let him go, and keep your ink! You can find another guy with a farm and hot kisses. He’s not swimming in the deep end of the pool and neither are you, so it’s no loss to move on. In a deep and loving relationship, this tattoo would not be a deal-breaker — silly, maybe, but not the end of things.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography