File Voyageur fling under fond memory

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/03/2019 (2769 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a lovely, sexy man at a party in the first days of Festival du Voyageur, and he promised to come back again the next night. We danced and drank and partied and kissed under the winter moon — what a time we had. The third night I went back hoping to see him again, but he had vanished. I only knew him by his nickname. I’m afraid to go looking for him, even though I know where he works because I think he must be married.

I’m in my mid-20s and he was about five years older — old enough to be married and have a family. I think bitterly maybe he was taking a few days off from his marriage and commitments. Where do you think he went?

— Sad and Missing Him, Downtown

Dear Missing Him: Perhaps he went home and stayed there, or he changed venues and hustled somebody else. What may have started as a vertical flirtation was headed for something horizontal or emotional, and perhaps he wasn’t allowing himself that, particularly if he’s married.

Listen, if he was single he could have come back the third night to escalate things, but he didn’t even ask you to see him again. Forget him as fast you can. Later, you can remember the fun you had under the moon, but whatever you do, don’t carry a torch until Festival 2020. Let it fly away — just like he did.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read about the racist treatment described by the Irish woman and her Indigenous husband at a Winnipeg restaurant on Valentine’s Day. They are not alone. I found it happens all the time.

It’s what you learn to accept in Manitoba if you plan to live here. It’s difficult for people who look different. I’m black and was married to a well-known white person. Well, it got to the point I had to move on from her and her family and the whole scene. The racial animus was horrible.

What’s the difference at a restaurant or at a party? It just happens. Nasty people.

— Had Enough!

Dear Had Enough: If you have a choice, life is too short to stay in a situation where you’re treated like a second-class citizen. It is shameful this still occurs so often, in a so-called multicultural city.

What does it take to make people stop fearing and shunning people of other colours, races and religions? I’d like to hear from readers on this. How can we make a change and get people mixing, other than at formal celebrations of cultures such as Folklorama?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Spring is coming and I was planning on setting myself free when the weather gets better. I’m tired of being with the same girl for four years and she doesn’t even want to get married.

Being forced by the cold to cocoon for five months — her in sweatpants and greasy hair binge-watching Netflix, and me in the bedroom playing games with friends online — made me sick and tired of our loser relationship.

Should I talk about it and risk getting kicked out (she holds the lease) or play along until May when my brother’s roommate moves out and I can move back in with him?

— Living a Lie, West Kildonan

Dear Living a Lie: She may be sick and tired of you, too, always in the bedroom, leaving her alone to be with your online friends.

Talk to your brother first and ask him when’s the earliest date you could move in with him. Then talk to your girlfriend about how little you’re interacting and about dissolving the relationship in the very near future. She needs a chance to find a new roommate and you don’t want to get stuck paying double rent.

She may also surprise you and want to save the relationship, rather than be alone.

Since you already know she doesn’t want to marry you, that should be reason enough to put the brakes on a relationship that never had a real future.

A good friendship with your brother as roomie would be more fun as a living situation.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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