Stop waiting and ditch boozer

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This article was published 07/03/2019 (2751 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man at the liquor store who had a cart completely full of booze. That should have been my first clue. He helped me carry my party liquor to the car. He didn’t mention if he was having a big party.

We got talking, and he was so much fun I agreed to have lunch with him across the street at a nearby restaurant. We had so much fun drinking at lunch that I went to his house to continue the party and didn’t make it home until the next morning.

Then we started dating — he loves to cook — and there was always wine involved. That was another big clue I didn’t pick up. All our dates involved liquor, whether they were at a restaurant, entertainment venue or dinner at his place.

Finally, I realized I was drinking way too much with him. I asked him if we could stop including liquor in all our activities and he flatly told me no. He said he enjoyed drinking and wasn’t changing.

The man drinks half a litre of hard liquor every day. Yesterday, I said, “Now we both have a liquor probem!” He said, “Well, maybe you do, but I don’t.” So, now what?

— Hemming and Hawing, St. James

Dear Hemming: What are you waiting for? Stop drowning yourself in liquor while you still can. This guy is an unrepentant alcoholic, and you won’t change him. He needs someone who drinks like a “sophisticated” fish, the way he does. He probably doesn’t see alcoholism as a bad thing. But liquor is liquor, and alcoholism is an addiction that most often turns ugly. Call the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba (204-944-6200) and ask to see a counsellor for an assessment.

Detaching yourself from this drinking buddy is your first step, as he’s not a real friend or lover. He’s a party pal. Frankly, it sounds like you’re not that emotionally involved with him. Try to meet the next guy in your life at the grocery store in the fruit and vegetable aisles.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a restaurant server, with more than 30 years of experience. I’m writing in regards to Tired of People’s Fears, the couple who were treated abysmally on Valentine’s Day because the man is Indigenous. (Miss L: Staff sat them by the cold door, ignoring them much of the time, and didn’t give a flower to the lady, as they did to others.)

In no place I’ve ever worked have I ever treated any customer this way. I hope they can find a nice place where they’re treated properly and go there always.

I strongly recommend they make a fuss with restaurant management about this. They should write a review on TripAdvisor, explaining their experience. That will really perk up management and get their attention. This would be a public service and this restaurant should be called out.

I’d like to know where they went, because I’d never go there in my life. There is no excuse for this kind of prejudice in this century, in this country or in this profession. I’m not sure why they were treated like this. How snobby and unenlightened!

No matter what the server’s mindset, it is our job to treat everyone with respect and politeness and make them want to return to the restaurant.

— Sincerely, L.M., Winnipeg

Dear L.M:. We’ve heard from management and column readers. It’s good to hear from a server like you — someone who clearly takes pride in their work. I hope Tired of People’s Fears take some comfort from the recent letters. And here’s some irony — the couple politely did not mention the name of the restaurant.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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