Five-finger discounts worry granddaughter

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This article was published 08/03/2019 (2765 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My grandmother lives with us. She goes shopping a lot and I think she often comes home with things she didn’t pay for. I think she swipes things at fancy stores she could never afford. We share a room. I have seen them for a few minutes and then they disappear.

I asked her one day where she had gotten a certain piece of nice jewelry and she said only “at a store.” When I asked her how much she paid for it she said she couldn’t remember and told me it was none of my business.  

I don’t want to accuse her outright of shoplifting, but what if she gets caught? I don’t want to see her in jail. My parents haven’t noticed because all their energy is focused on my mother’s drinking. Grandma is my dad’s mom and she does all the cooking around here. My mother drinks and watches TV.

— Worried Granddaughter

Dear Worried: Alert your dad and ask him where he thinks she is getting all her jewelry. Tell him what you’ve seen and on a day when grandma’s not home, search every inch of your bedroom to see where she might be stashing the jewelry.

Grandma should see a doctor and possibly a psychiatrist before she ends up in trouble with the police. Reasons for stealing are varied, but it could very well be traced to a chemical imbalance in her brain.  

Since mom has her own problems, just involve dad for now. As her son, he may care on a much deeper level about your grandmother’s well-being than your mother. 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-girlfriend, who I abruptly stopped seeing and communicating with 55 years ago, is attending her granddaughter’s wedding. Problem is, I’m also invited, as the bride-to-be is my godchild.  

My ex’s daughter is the principal sponsor and I learned lately that she has long hated me, believing I did not properly part with her mother.

My wife and I are on good terms with the family, even though my ex and I have had no communication until now. Would it be nice in the eyes of my ex (we were never engaged) if my wife and I attend the wedding? My wife says it’s OK that we go.

Would it still be proper for me to approach my ex at the wedding and apologize? She has been a widow now for 15 years. 

— Apologize or Not?, Manitoba

Dear Apologize or Not: Go to the wedding for your goddaughter’s sake, but don’t say anything to your ex in the reception line except a pleasant, “Hello, the bride looked beautiful today.” Then she can say, “Yes, she looked lovely.”

That’s good enough, unless she says anything more. It’s been too long since you two parted company to bring it up now. She found a new man she cared enough about to marry. Saying anything about your relationship with her would seem weird to her and inappropriate on this special day. 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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