Insecure boyfriend’s jealousy bad sign of things to come

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/07/2022 (1163 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I left my jealous new boyfriend at home and went to visit my parents and old friends at the lake, where I’ve gone for years.

It wasn’t enough that he told me he was suspicious of my motives for taking off to a place where I have old friends (and one or two old boyfriends), he actually got in the car and drove up there after me.

We fought on my parents’ front lawn. It was so embarrassing. Now we’re home and he’s apologizing like crazy and saying how much he loves me, and that’s why he got so upset.

What do you think I should do about him? He’s very cute and sweet when he’s not upset. Am I being too hard on him? — Age 23, and Unsure What To Do, River Heights

Dear Unsure: Don’t listen to his excuses for behaving this way. Any guy who follows you up to your family’s lake to express his distrust, jealousy and anger is a very insecure man indeed. He will cause you a lot of trouble. These are the kind of boyfriends who cling, cry and apologize, and then sometimes even start hitting their girlfriends — telling them it’s all their fault!

While he may not quite fit that bill now, who’s to say what the future could look like, with an insecure guy like him?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I call my wife “baby” and the kids are always groaning and correcting me. They’re aged eight to 12 and don’t understand the affectionate usage of the word.

I don’t want to start calling her by her old-fashioned three-syllable name which sounds more like an old grandmother. Besides, she doesn’t like that name herself, and she loves “baby” and “babe.” How do I explain this to the kids?

— Loving My Wife, St. VItal

Dear Loving My Wife: Consider saying this to the kids: “‘Baby’ can be a ‘love name’ for adults. I love your mom and she is very precious to me. It’s a way of showing my feelings, and Mom says she likes it. I don’t think of her like a tiny baby or a baby doll.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’d like to suggest another possible explanation for the negative reaction of the daughter-in-law when Cut to Ribbons unexpectedly stopped at her home and noticed many of the gifts she’d given her over the years were included in a garage sale.

The younger woman had asked her mother-in-law numerous times not to buy her things, probably because they had different tastes. How long was she expected to have these gifts cluttering up her shelves? This situation would not have occurred had CTR simply honoured DIL’s request.

Perhaps she could explicitly apologize for this, and in the future, instead of giving gifts, she could take DIL out for lunch or give consumable gifts, or gift certificates for things like pedicures. Zero gifts or a simple phone call are also options.

— Benefit of the Doubt to the Daughter in Law, Mb.

Dear Benefit: It’s plain rude to tell a relative not to give you any more gifts because you don’t like what they buy (or more likely you simply don’t like them personally). You can bet that mother-in-law will never buy another gift of any kind for her son’s wife.

Make no mistake, this was not just about the gifts. There’s no love lost between these two women.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6