Aunt the one cheating; accuser the one in trouble

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/04/2018 (3077 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My aunt was sneaking around on my uncle with a guy from the casino where she’s been busy spending her part of a recent family inheritance. I was playing cards there and went for a break and saw this guy bend over her as she sat like a zombie looking into a machine. He kissed her on the ear and then she turned and kissed him on the cheek. Then he trailed his fingers across her back as he walked off.

I decided to keep an eye on them by playing a VLT nearby, yet out of her line of sight. The guy came back again and they left the place together. I ran to another exit and jumped in my car to wait at the likely exit for her noticeable brand-new car. I tailed them to his place. They couldn’t go to her place because she’s married to my favourite uncle.

I waited 20 minutes, banged on the guy’s door, asked for my aunt and yelled that it was a family emergency. She offered me money to keep my mouth shut. I refused the bribe, went home and told my mom who told my dad, who broke it to my uncle.

Now the whole family is blowing up and somehow the blame is falling on me. Even my uncle phoned and asked me why I did it, like he knew already, and had been looking the other way. Should I move out of town? Everybody seems to hate me and I’m scared of my aunt’s tough-looking boyfriend.

— Scared, Manitoba

Dear Scared: Tell your parents you’re worried and need real support because everybody’s mad at you for causing this rift in the family. While it’s true you followed the pair and reported them to your own parents, that’s as far as you went. Your parents did the reporting of the adultery, and they should stand solidly with you.

Why should you run away and leave town? If they threaten anybody with anything, remember uttering threats is against the law.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read the letter from Uncomfortable about the flirty guy at church, and all I can say is — predator! She says it herself: “He never mixes with the people at church. For some reason, he zeroed in on me — a single woman, alone, with no rings at all.” That guy at church is looking for victims, that’s why he focused on Uncomfortable.

Religious organizations are great places for predators to flourish and groom victims because they are open and welcoming to all and tend to believe the best of people. And they are also filled with people such as Uncomfortable, who are lonely and looking for a place to belong. She needs to stay far away from this guy. If no one else at church knows him or can vouch for him, and he doesn’t want to know them, he’s bad news.

— One Who Knows, Winnipeg

Dear One Who Knows: It’s hard for people to make a scene if they don’t want someone sitting beside them in church. I suggested Uncomfortable join some small groups within the church to change that situation and purposely seat herself beside people she gets to know. A person who’s at church to hit on a lonely, naive woman is never going to be joining small groups where people can get to know him.

It’s interesting this flirty guy backed off as soon as Uncomfortable asked him out for coffee, saying he was married to a woman of a different faith and expressed surprise she had not remembered. (He had never told her, and there was no ring on his finger.) Methinks she was physically safe from that in-church Casanova, though not emotionally safe, as she had already gotten attracted and was feeling attached.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave.,

Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography