Self-isolated dating is new reality for now

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/03/2020 (2340 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m stuck inside and wanting desperately to go out and meet some of the people I’ve been talking to online through Tinder and Bumble, but I feel like, with all the COVID-19 stuff happening, that would be a bad decision.

I’m a social person, and I don’t care to read books or play video games. I like being out, having a drink — things like that. My parents are telling me to stay in my apartment, but I keep thinking about going out and meeting up with these people. What would be a good way to get around that? Is there even one?

— Stuck in Tricky Times, St. Boniface

Dear Stuck: You could possibly develop friendships with new people online and on the phone but actually going out to meet someone in person could be a big, dangerous mistake. Don’t take a chance on your health. Being infected by the COVID-19 virus can range anywhere from mild to deadly.

Curious to see what a new person looks like? I bet you’ve already peeked! In 2020, there are many ways to do that online without meeting face-to-face.

Now let’s talk turkey. If it’s sex with an attractive person you’ve met online you’re craving, that’s getting way too close. Even a simple kiss is too close. Going for a walk and having the new object of your affection sneeze on you or take your hand with one that has the virus on it is taking a chance. Touching your face and getting that person’s virus in your mouth, nose or eyes could be disastrous. It’s just not worth it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into my old boyfriend in the grocery store and we had to stay six feet away from each other because of COVID-19. Maybe it was the forced distance, but I felt so much like going around the food display and embracing him right there in public.

Instead, we made awkward conversation and made a phone date for when we got home a half-hour later — but he didn’t call. I told him my number in the store as if he didn’t know it. To be honest, I was the bad guy in the relationship. I broke up with him because he was suspicious and jealous, being newly “out of the closet” in the world.

Every day I want to call him more and more — but we can’t even get together because of COVID-19. Do you think it would make sense if I just phoned him up and maybe we started a phone relationship?

We never talked much when we were dating because we were so physically attracted and there were a lot of things that were misunderstood when I told him we were finished.

— Wanting a Second Chance, Downtown

Dear Wanting: Leave him alone, as his silence indicates he’s scared to be around the guy who dumped him before, and especially in this time of COVID-19 precautions.  

There’s nothing like being quarantined to give people a chance to think and rethink, and suddenly get lonesome for someone no longer with you. Unless you really want this man back with all his insecurities — and he wants you — it would be unfair to invite him to restart any kind of relationship. A phone-only relationship would be almost impossible, because of the mutual sexual attraction. 

Best idea? If you’re still longing for him, call him yourself after the COVID-19 problem is over.  

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I have always been good Type A working partners and good together with our dog, but we’ve never been playmates in the sense of having fun together. We usually go out separately with our same-sex buddies to exercise, play sports, camp and bicycle. 

I’ve realized now we’re self-quarantined — we’re stuck in the house so much and working online — that we’re not talking much and aren’t even warm friends. Oh yeah, we have sex — but it’s deadly quiet when it’s over and we turn out the light, roll over and go to sleep. I don’t think we ever lie there and talk and laugh like I imagine other couples do. Please help!

— Sleeping Single in a Double Bed, St. Norbert

Dear Sleeping Single: Here’s how to make friends with your husband: You need a list of questions you ask him about his aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, teachers, old friends and all the pets in his lifetime. You need to find out what he was like at age four, six, 10, 16 and so on.

You also need to ask about his first date, first love and who hurt him (and tell him how stupid they were!) Also ask about the girls he may have rejected, and why. You’ll learn a lot from that. 

While you’re home together, look through pictures of friends and family from way back up until now and stories will naturally arise. Honour your guy and yourself by putting some of the old photos up on the wall and find out how to print newer ones off your computer to add to the display. 

Offer your own stories when he tells his, and become his most sympathetic friend. Hopefully, he will warm to you, and you to him, as you finally get to know each other’s hearts intimately, and start building a combined story under that roof.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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