Snarly writer goes all Zen-like

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/07/2010 (5868 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

We are regularly accused in this business of being too cynical and too critical without offering any real solutions to problems.

One reader even suggested a while back yours truly be a little less mean-spirited and more ‘Zen-like’ in my approach to writing about the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

Now, for some reason that thought was rolling around in my little noggin the other day as discussion of the Bombers’ awful starts to their three games this season was broached and theories were bandied about as to how to fix that frightening trend.

First, a little background:

The Bombers gave up a touchdown on the first play of 2010 when Hamilton’s Marcus Thigpen took the opening kickoff the distance in Game 1. The Tiger-Cats added a single to make it 8-0 before the Bomber offence or defence had even stepped onto the field for the season.

Against the Argos a week later Winnipeg was down 16-0 to Toronto midway through the second quarter before the squad finally awoke from its pre-game slumber.

And last week in Hamilton, old friend Kevin Glenn completed his first 14 passes, the Ticats scored on their first possession and were up 21-zip before the Bombers decided to get their jerseys sweaty.

The CFL doesn’t track this stat, but if it did, the Bombers would most certainly be leading the land in first-round standing-eight counts. And it’s a key factor in the club’s iffy 1-2 opening to the campaign.

“I’m not really sure what you can pin these slow starts on,” began offensive lineman Brendon LaBatte. “I know we’ve got intensity before we go out and everything seems to be right where we want it. Guys are fired up in the locker-room… I’m not sure what it is, but it’s something we’ve got to get corrected.

“You know, some guys need that first punch to help them know they’re in a fight. We don’t need that anymore. Three games is enough. We know what that’s about now. Now it’s time for us to go out and throw the first punch.”

Yes, based on their early-season history delivering the first punch to the Edmonton Eskimos today would be a bit of an about-face for these Bombers.

Three ‘Zen-like’ solutions we’d suggest might aid in ending slow starts:

— Stop feeding the players pre-game meals of turkey with really thick gravy and all the fixings. Tryptophan, after all, can make you sleepy…

— Playing peaceful pre-game music in the locker-room — anything by Zamfir, for example — isn’t the most-effective way to get the troops frothing at the mouth and ready to knock down walls and bust open heads.

— ‘Now I lay me down to sleep’ probably isn’t the wisest choice for the pre-game prayer.

Not surprisingly, the Bombers themselves have bandied about a bunch of ideas this week on this subject.

LaBatte suggested the offence work to establish the run earlier in a game to stay on the field for longer stretches.

Head coach Paul LaPolice stressed simple execution — catching, tackling, making the right reads — as critical to having the attack move the chains and the defence getting off the field before their tongues begin dragging.

It’s even been suggested slow starts aren’t all that surprising given the Bomber roster and coaching staff has undergone an extreme makeover in each of the last two winters. New coaches mean new game plans and expecting everyone to be in sync early might be a bit much. As proof, consider that in the last three years the Bombers are now just 3-9 in games in June and July.

“We’ve focused on that this week: executing and starting out fast,” said receiver Terrence Edwards. “Those were our two main goals. We’ve been falling behind and then picking up steam. That’s not how we want to start. We want to have the steam right out of the gate.

“We’ve been letting the opponent take the fight to us and you can’t do that. Before you know it it’s 21-zero like last week. And against Toronto we were down 16-zero before we came back. You can’t get down like that and expect to come back every time.”

No kidding. Especially knowing that after today’s tilt with the Eskimos, four of the Bombers’ next five games take them on the road.

“In past years our slow starts to the whole season, not just games, have been like watching Uma Thurman awake from her coma in Kill Bill,” offered Doug Brown. “Remember, she’s got to first how to learn how to use her hands again, and then walk. It can be terribly frustrating and agonizing to watch. But then she gets in her full Ninja mode.”

True that. But talk is cheap, especially now four weeks into the season and a critical stretch staring them in the face.

Rise and shine, Blue Bombers — this is your wake-up call.

ed.tait@freepress.mb.ca