Dumping girlfriend on Valentine’s Day a scummy move
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/02/2016 (3855 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I have been sinking further and further into the mire lately. I am going to this “Valentine’s Party For Two” she has organized at a hotel room in Winnipeg. Really, I just feel like breaking up with her. I feel like not showing up at the hotel. She thinks she’s going to rope me back in with romance, candlelight and the sex she doles out, but only when she wants something.
She knows I’m drifting away so she’s trying to reel me back in. Should I break up with her this weekend and get it over with? I know it’s Valentine’s weekend, but I’m so sick and tired of her games My brother says that would be a really dirty thing to do, but I just want to get it done and not be phony all weekend. What do you think? Tell me on the 13th, please. — Sick of Her, Selkirk
Dear Sick of Her: Your brother is right when he says it’s a dirty thing to do — spoiling a special day. You really want to hurt and humiliate her, don’t you? Can’t you wait until Monday, when this special weekend she’s planned and paid for is done? That fancy backdrop with the hotel, decorations, food and drink just magnifies the hurt and reminds the person who was dumped every time the day comes around.
Just play along and be pleasant, and then you can lower the boom next week. She’s gone to a lot of trouble and expense. Is it such a big deal to put up with the goodies, treats and enthusiastic sex? It won’t kill you to leave the break up to a few days after Valentine’s Day when it will hurt less. You’ll still finish with the same effect.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife died a number of years ago and I have a new lady friend in her 50s. She is sweet and loving and I really like her a lot. I’m not ready to say “I love you” and bring up expectations I’m not ready for. I want to say something sweet on the Valentine’s card to go with the expensive chocolates I got for her. I don’t want to use the cheap words “I like you,” but what can I say instead? — Stuck in the Middle Ground, Selkirk
Dear Stuck in the Middle: You don’t have to “cheap out” with the lame “like” word, instead, write something like this: “These chocolates are for a very sweet and beautiful woman who is… ,” then list half a dozen of her best characteristics and sign your card Very Affectionately. That should make her feel good and it will probably earn you some sweet affection, as a bonus! And you’re not committing.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6
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