Nice guy shouldn’t be insulted by online date’s backup plan

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/02/2016 (3849 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went out for a pre-Valentine’s date with a woman I met online, and we went for coffee. It was our first date and she did that old trick where she had a friend stationed in the coffee shop to make sure I wasn’t a rapist. I spotted her immediately with her cellphone at the ready, staring at me.

At the appointed time, the phone rang and I pointed at her friend and said, “You better answer it. Your friend over there is looking anxious.” Both of them saw me point.

My date was so embarrassed, she threw some money on the table and ran out with her friend right behind her.

A few hours later she texted me saying she was sorry, that she knew I was a really nice guy as soon as she met me. I said, “Too late.” Was that wrong of me? — Second Thoughts, St. Vital

Dear Second Thoughts: Consider giving her a second chance. She could be Paranoid Patty, or this could be the funny story you tell at your wedding a few years down the road. Silly things happen when you meet an online date for the first time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I need to get to know this guy better from school, but I don’t want to phone him for a date. I asked my stepmom what to do and she said, “Don’t you know about smokescreen parties?” I said I had no idea and told her she was old-fashioned. But it’s two weeks later, and I’m getting nowhere — so what is a smokescreen party? — Curious, South End

Dear Curious: You invite a number of people over for a games night, with prizes, and invite him. Then zero in on him the moment he comes through the door. Get him refreshments and involved in the game you happen to be playing —be sure to sit beside him. Bingo! The rest of the people are the “smokescreen” that covers up your nefarious plan — getting him out of the big crowd at school and into your love life.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a suggestion for Getting on My Nerves and his wife. She can sing and mimic all kinds of sounds (from car sounds to embarrassing body noises) and it is getting to him.

There is a wonderful choir in the city called Margaret’s Choir. It’s an all-inclusive group; everyone is welcome. There are no auditions and you don’t even need to be able to read music.

Maybe she can direct her musical talents into learning all kinds of beautiful songs. Instead of spouting “musical percussion,” she could be singing or humming all the great songs she learns at the choir.

The other wonderful thing about the choir is they put on two performances a year in support of a local charity. Check it out at margaretschoir.ca. — Dedicated Member of the Choir, Winnipeg

Dear Dedicated Member: Thanks for your tip. This singing and mimicking wife has tons of energy around music and has nowhere to put it. She reminds me of the “difficult” kids in schools where I used to teach who would excel once a teacher could figure out what it was that kid wanted to do, but couldn’t name.

I checked out this very choir a few years ago and found it non-judgmental and fun. More than 100 people were there from different religions (or no religion) on Sunday afternoons from 2 to 4 p.m. in a local church. Their online ad now reads: “Love to sing, but think you can’t? Margaret’s Choir could be for you.” It could be the answer for this man’s antsy wife with the musical bent.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography