Gloomy Gus isn’t the right guy for an optimist

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This article was published 20/02/2016 (3865 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a casual boyfriend who makes me laugh, and a much more serious one who has been making me cry a lot lately. The funny one is a guy I work with and we sometimes “play” together secretly at work before I go home. (There are lots of beds where we work, but it’s not a hospital.) He is attractive and a laugh a minute. When I’m with him, we’re like a comedy team.

I also have a longtime boyfriend who just frustrates me to no end! I love him and always thought I’d marry him, but he is a real Dougy Downer. My parents think he’s great, but he’s nice around them as he continually works on trying to impress them. With me, he’s always complaining about everything. I’ve just been with him so long (six years) and thought I could change him, but maybe I can’t.

— Happy and Sad, North End

Dear Happy and Sad: Psychologists now say the tendencies toward optimism or pessimism are part of one’s DNA and can be further influenced by parents and surroundings. You are clearly an optimist. Proof? You have stuck with a pessimist for many years thinking he’ll change. He won’t. It’s time to let him go. Then maybe you’ll want to pursue a deeper relationship with your sex buddy at the hotel or motel you’re hinting about.

The funny guy is actually a better mate for an optimist and you could maybe have a fun life together. Can you take this relationship outside of work and make something bigger of it, or does he, as I suspect, have a wife or girlfriend?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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