Threesome didn’t work out as planned

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This article was published 23/02/2016 (3845 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I made a little rehearsed speech to my husband a few weeks ago: “I still love you with all my heart, but I must confess I have met a second person that I love, and she is a woman. She is bisexual and I would like you to meet her.” At first, my husband was horrified and said he didn’t want any part of it and was going to leave, but three days later, with both of us crying and upset, he agreed to meet her.

She is an angel, and he saw her that way, too. She proceeded to spend more time with us, and my husband finally agreed to try sleeping with us both. All we did was sleep. It was lovely. But this week, something awful happened: we made love together. I thought I would be happy, but now I’m sick with jealousy. He seemed much more interested in her than in me! And the worst part is, I felt her interest turned away from me, toward him. Now I’m so upset and crying all the time. I’ve been with my husband more than 20 years and we have been very happy, and she barely knows him. I didn’t bring her home for her to take over my husband! What should I do now?

— Painful Threesome, Transcona

Dear Painful Threesome: You didn’t account for two things: the novelty factor and the revenge factor. There has to be some satisfaction for your husband in getting back at you. Your husband was dragged into this threesome and had the lower-status position — until he met the other woman. Now that he and she get along like a house on fire, you’re left holding the water hose. If you want to continue this relationship, you’ll have to wait for the novelty between your husband and the new lady to be over, or choose one over the other. No doubt the emotional tie between you and your husband of two decades is stronger than the new one with the “angel.”

Threesomes usually work best between people who are just friends and experimenting for fun. If you truly love your husband, you better pick him to be with you exclusively and push the other woman out fast before they get emotionally attached and leave you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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