There is a deeper meaning for why you said no to proposal

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Valentine's Day was a disaster. My boyfriend thought we were celebrating big time. He presented me with a ring in front of our friends at a restaurant and I had to put my arms quickly around his neck, and whisper, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet." I gave him the ring back. I could see the tears. He took off out the door without paying. I felt so guilty I paid for his dinner.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/02/2016 (3870 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Valentine’s Day was a disaster. My boyfriend thought we were celebrating big time. He presented me with a ring in front of our friends at a restaurant and I had to put my arms quickly around his neck, and whisper, “I’m sorry, I’m not ready yet.” I gave him the ring back. I could see the tears. He took off out the door without paying. I felt so guilty I paid for his dinner.

My friends were so embarrassed for the both of us, they went home as soon as they could drain their drinks. I phoned him when I got home and all he said was, “You said you loved me, and I thought love led to a marriage commitment. Obviously, they were just words to you.” We haven’t spoken since. The thing is, I don’t know what I want. I only wish he had asked me privately instead of creating this public scene that compounded his embarrassment when I said no. By the way, the ring was beautiful.

— Miserable Now, Fort Rouge

 

Dear Miserable Now: Forget you ever saw that big sparkly rock. Now is the time to go to a counsellor and explain all the reasons, or half-reasons, you couldn’t accept the ring, besides timing. If the words, “I’m not as in love with him as he is with me,” is one of your answers, let the poor guy go. If he bores you, let him go. If you can’t stand it that he drinks, smokes or does drugs, let him go. If he has no ambition, let him go. This is not the husband for you or a father for your future children. If you want kids and the idea makes him shiver, stay away from him also.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

 

 

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Valentine's Day was a disaster. My boyfriend thought we were celebrating big time. He presented me with a ring in front of our friends at a restaurant and I had to put my arms quickly around his neck, and whisper, "I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet." I gave him the ring back. I could see the tears. He took off out the door without paying. I felt so guilty I paid for his dinner.

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